Still Fighting It
by RockinTheOC
Summary: COMPLETE Seth returns to Newport after 7 years to face a son he's never met, Summer, and their impending divorce. SS Future Fic--R&R please.
1. however far away, I will always love you

Rating: PG/PG-13

Disclaimer: Although I wish I could claim that the OC belongs to me, I can't--I own nothing.

Author's Note: Well, here's the new story I promised I'd be posting. It was inspired by the song, "Still Fighting It" by Ben Folds, one of my favorite songs of all time. It's a future fic, Seth and Summer are both around 32 years old and I guess you'll figure out the rest. This story is really music based, so each chapter has a song that goes with it. For the first chapter, it's Love Song by The Cure (or by 311). _I've already planned out the next chapter, so you'll be finding out why things that happen in this first chapter are happening. Enjoy and give me some feedback on whether I should continue or not._

Still Fighting It

Chapter 1: However far away, I will always love you…

Seth didn't know when his life got so complicated. Well, actually, he did know--it was the first day he laid eyes on Summer Roberts. Knowing Summer had it's moments, but it was never a fairy tale. It had been a thrill ride, with its ups and downs (plenty of downs) for the last 20 odd years of his life. It was strange to think about their timeline together. Summer had lived most of her young life not even knowing he existed, which could have been seen as a blessing because as soon as she found out who he was, his life had never been the same. Every day was something different, sometimes she hated him, sometimes she loved him. They were together, then they were not. She was his girlfriend, his lover, then she became his wife. But that was all about to change now. With a flourish of the pen, everything could change. His life, as he knew it, would be over.

He looked over the stack of papers in front of him. Did he really want to deal with his divorce papers right now? Not really. But he was heading into severe rage blackout territory if he didn't take care of them soon. If there was one thing Summer was not, it was patient. Especially when it came to him.

His manager, Marc, walked through the glass doors to his office and handed him a piece of paper. "What's this?"

"A list of songs for the concert. I'm going to need you guys to make up a set list and give it back to me, so I can get back to the record company and the venue."

"Alright. I'll call Jimmy and take care of it."

"Good. There's a big buzz about the concert, so try to make it good."

Seth rolled his eyes at his friend, "Since when have we not been good?"

"Whatever, do I have to deflate your ego again? This is a homecoming concert, it's really important that you show enthusiasm for the hometown crowd. The DVD sales will go through the roof. You've never played in Orange County before, so it's a special occasion for fans to see how you are in your native environment."

"Yeah, well Newport was never my 'native' environment, and it doesn't feel that special." He pushed the folder with Summer's papers over the desk. Marc glanced at them quickly, trying to feign some sort of interest.

"Did you have your lawyer look at it?"

"Yeah, he gave me my options. Basically, he told me to do what Summer wants. She's not asking for ridiculous alimony or asking for all the custody. She's pretty much asking for nothing, but to be free. That's what sucks."

"I'm sorry. But take it from me, a man who has been married 4 times, you can get over it by getting back on the dating train, so that the nightmare of love can start all over again."

"That's comforting. Look, I gotta go get ready for tonight."

"Ooh, heading out on a date already?"

"Well, kind of, I'm having dinner with Summer." Marc raised his eyebrows, but Seth ignored it. After having his father's eyebrows stare back at him for many years, he was immune to the powers of eyebrows.

"I thought you were getting a divorce, not courting her again."

"We're talking about the papers. I think she expects me to just hand over the papers, but we'll see."

"Good luck with that."

"Thanks. When it comes to Summer, I always need it."

Marc walked out of the office, leaving Seth to himself and his thoughts. He pushed the papers aside. She could be as mad as she wanted to be, but he wasn't going to deal with this now. She couldn't possibly expect to lose him that easily. Especially not after the events of the last 2 months. Not after the events of their whole lives.

And definitely not after seeing his son for the first time in 7 years.

He was a successful musician now with tons of accolades and fans. He had been around the block a few times in this show business life. If there was something Seth had learned from being in the music business, it was that you had to fight to win--be determined to succeed and not let go. And he was not letting go. There was no way he was letting go of what he had fought so hard to obtain in the first place.


	2. you've had your chance so say goodbye

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Here is the second installment of my new story, I guess I will be continuing it, due to the reviews asking for more. Thanks, guys! I know this chapter is really melodramatic and kinda lame, but hopefully it will serve its purpose and answer a lot of your questions as to why Seth and Summer are headed towards divorce and how their relationship ended up so strained. The song that goes along with this chapter is Nothing Better by The Postal Service. _Enjoy! Keep letting me know how the story is going._

Still Fighting It

Chapter 2: you've had your chance so say goodbye

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better than making you my bride and slowly growing old together.

Don't you feed me lies about some idealistic future   
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures   
  
I admit that I have made mistakes  
And I swear I'll never wrong you again   
  
You've got a lure I can't deny,  
But you've had your chance so say goodbye,  
Say goodbye  
---

Long before Seth Cohen had become a semi-god amongst men in the music industry, he had been an ordinary husband, working hard on his music, hoping to make it big. Seth had never known what he wanted to do with his life. All he knew was that he loved playing the piano and guitar, and that he was pretty good at it. Fortunately for him, he had a sizeable trust fund, so he could do anything he wanted and still have enough money to live very comfortably. In college, he had formed a trio with two guys and they continued to play around with demos and songs, gaining a pretty large following on campus. Summer was his biggest groupie.

He married her just weeks after they graduated from USC. There was no planned wedding, just a quick elopement to Las Vegas. Silver Bells wedding chapel. It was a spur of the moment, fly by the seat of your pants idea. Maybe he was a little too drunk and having far too much fun, but it was the best decision he ever made. He had been 22 years old and without a plan. But now he was armed with a purpose, a wife, a family to take care of and live for. And life was still fun and carefree. That was before the music took over. Before the industry meddled in his affairs, making a mess of his life. It wasn't that he was ungrateful, because he was grateful for every ounce of success he achieved. But things could have, and should have been handled differently. Everything should have been different.

They had been so happy. Summer worked as an interior decorator for the Newport Group, in Julie Cooper's design team. She loved her job, and she loved her husband. Their life was perfect. She had all these dreams, when they were first married, about the three dark haired children that they would have. That was something she wanted more than anything in life, a real family. Something that she had never had before.

Eight years ago, her dreams had started to come true. Summer became pregnant, and Seth was the happiest man in the world. Not only was he going to be a father, but his band (they became official)'s demo tape had been picked up by Warner Bros. Records. They were to begin recording their debut album as soon as Summer had the baby. Success and love were in the stars for the both of them. But everything is always too good to be true. Something is always waiting to throw a kink in the plans.

Or someone rather. And her name was Jennie Martin. She was a hot, young singer/producer who had worked with John Mayer, Jason Mraz, and Maroon 5. Of course, the record company wanted to make their band successful with the same formula. Cute singer-songwriting boys with catchy hooks and funky beats. Add in some indie looking music videos, and you have a hit band. And it was soon to happen, under Jennie's direction.

It just so happened that Seth had written a song in college, after he and Summer had broken up for what seemed like the thousandth time, only to end up getting back together the following week. Jennie was in love with it--it was a fight between a couple, in which they sparred back and forth, taking one shot after the other. That's how most of Seth and Summer's fights were, verbal boxing matches. The song called for a female voice in the duet, and Jennie decided that she wanted to do it. And of course, the band had agreed. It was all they ever hoped for, getting to work with a major producer, cutting a major record.

Seth remembered it like yesterday. A moment like that was not something that one could forget. Summer had just given birth to their perfect son, Daniel Sanford Cohen, a few weeks before. He had to go to the studio to start recording the album, as the record label were pressing them for time. They had already given him time to spend with his wife while she was expecting, but now that the kid was born, it was back to business. The music industry stopped for no one. You had to grab your opportunity and go with it.

He worked all day and all night for weeks. They didn't seem to be getting that much done. It was a tediously slow process, but they were so excited to be apart of everything that was happening. Their label had so much faith in their sound that they started getting invites to Hollywood parties, where their music would be played for hot A-list celebrities and trendy LA jetsetters. It was amazing. It was actually happening. They recorded everyday, and partied every night. Being a musician had it's perks, definitely. His bachelor band mates found different models and actresses to be seen with every night. Seth tried to stay away from those girls as much as possible, driving home after parties to spend it with in his own bed, with his own wife. Summer, having become a mother, underwent a change that no one could ever imagine from her. She was patient and caring, always waking up at whatever time of night Seth came home to cook him something to eat or to just watch TV with him or do whatever. She was the ever-loving, supportive wife. She was so proud of him.

Seth spent many moments during those trips home just watching his son sleep. It was such a miracle that something so innocent and perfect could come from him. He always sang to his son, often falling asleep with him in their rocking chair singing some of the songs off the album. Everything was so innocent then, no one could have any idea that a furious storm was brewing under the radar.

When the album was in it's finishing stages, the record company leaked out the single, "Nothing Better," Seth's duet with Jennie, to the media. Everyone loved it. Especially Summer, she knew it was her song. The band did tons of press with Jennie for it, they went everywhere. Parties, signings, radio shows. Their album wasn't even complete yet, and they were already blowing up. It was rare to find success as quickly as they had. But according to Jennie, they were such great songwriters, that of course things could come more quickly. Seth should have learned long ago to never listen to anything that Jennie had to say. The two were seen everywhere together.

Rumors had to start sometime. It was their album release party--almost one year from the day his son was born. All of their friends and family were there to celebrate--well all except their son, he was at home with Summer's grandmother. He was having a blast, drinking probably too much. Everything was a big blur. His music was on loudly, he was singing at the top of his lungs, and his wife was laughing, embarrassed at how drunk he was getting. But she loved it. He couldn't find her through the crowd, he remembered searching for her. He had run into Jennie instead.

And so was the beginning of the end.

Jennie had wrapped her arms around him, and pulled him closer. She acted drunk, but he never recalled an instance that he had ever seen her drink alcohol before. For some reason, these parts were so clear to him. She was dancing, or more like grinding with him. And for some stupid reason, he was letting her. It was all his fault.

And then she kissed him. And for some odd reason, he kissed back. He thought it was the booze, but that was no reason. He was to blame for everything.

He had never meant for it to happen. He never saw it coming. And what was worse was the sound of flashbulbs clicking for what seemed to be forever. All he could see after parting from his attacker was the stunned look on his wife's face. And an angrier one coming from her best friend, his sister in-law's face. Summer had not looked angry, which frightened him. She looked scared.

And she was.

The one thing that had ever eluded her was the concept of family. And the reason for why she never had a normal upbringing with her mother and father was infidelity. Her mother had cheated on her father, and then left without so much as saying goodbye. It was her worst fear come true. She was being left behind again.

The camera men waited for a reaction from anyone. This was too good to believe. Their album had just been released and there was already a scandal. Marissa was the first to act. She calmly walked over to Seth and slapped him. Hard. She grabbed Summer, who was already shaking from the tears that were building up in her throat, and left, with Ryan and his parents closely behind. If it had been one little instant, Seth could've explained it to Summer, and maybe she would have forgiven him.

But the media works in mysterious ways. On every gossip page across the nation, his "affair" with his duet partner made the headlines. Every internet chat room was abuzz with the news that the hot singer from 'that band who sang that one song' was leaving his wife for this younger and hotter celebrity. And Jennie sold his ass out. She had claimed that it was a tumultuous love affair, and that it had to end. Slowly, more and more "sources" came to surface about how the two were seen doing this and that at a coffee shop in Silverlake or a hotel in Pasadena. Jennie had explained to Seth that there were no hard feelings, it was all for the sake of publicity. He had never wanted to hit a girl more. His marriage was sacrificed for his career. The sad part was that Seth could not convince anyone else of the real truth. Everyone believed that the innocent coffee runs were secret rendezvous and that lunch meetings were foreplay for sexual interactions. His two bandmates knew the truth, yet they agreed that the publicity was getting their record sold.

So that's when Seth went solo. He couldn't be in a band with guys he couldn't even trust. They were willing to give up everything, even sell him out, for their own success, and Seth hated them for it. It was a cutthroat business, and he learned many lessons from this betrayal. But it didn't matter much anyway, neither was heard of in the industry again. He was pretty sure one of them was teaching music somewhere in the Midwest, and another worked at an independent record shop, but he didn't really care all that much.

Everything that had ever mattered to him--the music, the fame, the money paled in comparison to what mattered most--his family. And with one stupid move, he was about to lose it all.

He came home to Newport to face the music. Summer was surprising calm enough to see him, although her guard Marissa wasn't as forgiving. What was said that day changed the course of his life forever. He remembered every minute detail of that day when he lay awake during another sleepless night on the road. He relived it many times. As he sat in his desk, he closed his eyes, and relived that night once again…

Nothing Better by the Postal Service


	3. Hold me in the darkness

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own the OC, but if I see Josh Schwartz while I'm in LA, I'll try to put a bid in.

Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews! I guess this story is a keeper then, I'll be writing more over the next few days. Hopefully I'll be able to put up the next chapter before I leave for my trip home, but if not, it'll be at least a week or two before I can update any of my stories. Also, I will be updating **One **and the last chapter of **Lady in Red**, so look for those either today or tomorrow. This chapter is a flashback so keep that in mind while you read. Also, the song for this chapter is Hands to Heaven by Breathe_, which is a ballad from 1988 that I love. Keep leaving me feedback, I want to know how the story is going. Thanks and enjoy…_

Still Fighting It

Chapter 3: Hold me in the darkness

So raise your hands to heaven and pray   
That we'll be back together someday   
  
Tonight, I need your sweet caress   
Hold me in the darkness   
Tonight, you calm my restlessness   
You relieve my sadness   
  
As we move to embrace, tears run down your face   
I whisper words of love, so softly   
I can't believe this pain, it's driving me insane   
Without your touch, life will be lonely   
  
Morning has come, another day   
I must pack my bags and say goodbye...

Goodbye

--Hands to Heaven by Breathe

-----

7 years prior…

Seth stood frozenly behind his wife, waiting for her to move, to say anything. They had been standing like this for almost a half an hour, after he had come home. She stared at the wall in front of her. There were pictures covering the walls. Their wedding, Ryan and Marissa's wedding, Danny's baby pictures. All reminders of the happiness she once a few brief moments in time ago.

She slowly turned towards her husband and for the first time, Seth could see the extent of his damage. Summer's eyes were worn and tired, but not as they were after a sleepless night tending to their fussy son. They lacked the spark that had once twinkled each time she looked at him. They were replaced by a dullness that he could not have ever fathomed. Her eyes were droopy and dark, her skin stained from the streaks of salt that had been left behind. Her lips were bruised and torn from the pressure of her teeth that somehow kept her from not bursting into tears at that very moment. Her hair was stringy and matted down. She looked like she hadn't slept in awhile. She hadn't. Summer couldn't sleep. All the images of Seth kissing another woman infiltrated her brain, and the questions that resulted kept her up at night.

Did he love this woman?

Was I not good enough?

Did he ever love me?

The moment was relived each time she picked up a newspaper with that picture, of that bitch holding her husband in her arms. Each time she looked on a website and saw the rumors of him going out to drink with her on many late night occasions. Late nights when he did not come home to her.

Each time she heard that song on the radio.

Her song. But not anymore. It had been marred by the fact that the other woman was in Summer's role, saying Summer's lines, her words to Seth. That song was supposed to be a romantic ode to her.

Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better than making you my bride and slowly growing old together.

It hurt that his declaration of love for her was now being sung to another woman. Perhaps that's why Seth chose the song as the first single--maybe he was hinting at something that had been there all along. Maybe the song had slowly been coming to life and she had missed all the signals.

"Summer…" She put up her hand to silence him. He closed his mouth.

"I don't want to hear it Seth." Her voice was a hoarse whisper. She walked into their bedroom. She sat down at the edge of their bed, and put her head in her hands. "When did you get tired of us, Seth? Was it because I was pregnant? Was it because we were old and boring?"

"Summer, what are you talking about?" he voice cracked as tears formed in his eyes. "I will never be tired of us, you know that. I love you."

"Then why, Seth?" her voice reached a high pitch that Summer found extremely unappealing. It was the feature of her voice that scared people because it was filled with vitriolic bitterness.

"I didn't do it Summer. I know you don't believe me, but you have to believe that I love you and I would never do this. I've loved you since the third grade."

"You didn't even know me back then, and it's obvious that I don't know you now. I never thought you would lie to me, Cohen."

Seth sighed and whispered, "I'm not lying Summer. I swear on Captain Oats' life. I swear, I'm not."

She closed her eyes. "I don't believe you," his face noticeably fell, "Can you blame me? Your girlfriend admitted to the world that you were having an affair behind my back. Your band mates all but denied it and your record label is playing it out, milking it for every ounce of publicity it's worth. You kissed her."

"I know, but I swear that's the only time I did anything like that. I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing. I know it's not an excuse, but I swear that was the only time. The rumors aren't true. I didn't know she was going to do that, the record label did it. Please, Summer. Believe me." His eyes pleaded with her, but she lowered hers to the ground. She couldn't look at him.

"I wish I could Seth, I wish I could. I want to. But you promised me." The tears started falling out of her eyes and she desperately tried to wipe them away quickly. Seth reached over and tried to help her, but she swatted his hands away. "You promised me."

"I know. I'm sorry." He couldn't think of anything else to say. He had broken his promise. After they had gotten married, Summer made him promise that he would never do anything like what her mother did to her father. Summer had always been scared of that fate. She didn't think it would ever come true. In fact, she had always been frightened that she would be the one to break up the marriage like her mother did. But she had surprised even herself. And now they were sitting in their dark room at 3 AM in the exact same situation but it was nothing like she had ever imagined--the roles were completely reversed.

"Sorry isn't good enough." Summer's tone was markedly different from a few minutes earlier. Whenever she cried, she would always try to make up for it by making her voice cold and strong. It was her second line of defense after the first had been penetrated.

So just say how to make it right, and I swear I'll do my best to comply…

"What do you want me to do Summer. I said I was sorry. I didn't do anything, but you won't even believe me. If there was something I could do to make this better I would, but I don't know what to do! You have to help me Summer, you have to tell me what to do." He got up from his side of the bed and tugged at his hair. He paced around the room while he waited for her to answer.

I know that I have made mistakes, and I swear I'll never wrong you again.

She looked up at him with solemn eyes. "There's nothing you can do to rectify this Seth. At least, not now." The tears once more began to swell, as she got up from her stoic position at the table. "I just need some time away from you." His head jerked up in surprise.

"What are you saying Summer?" his voice whined although he didn't want to know what was coming next.

"I don't know Seth," her chest heaved as the sobs came pouring out, "I just…I just think that you should go…"

"Go where, Summer. Please don't do this."

You've got a lure I can't deny, but you had your chance so say goodbye…

"I think it's for the best. I just need you to leave right now. I can't deal with this right now."

"So you want me to leave this, leave you and my son behind?"

"Yes. At least just for now while I figure out what to do," her tears continued to fall, she couldn't stop them. Seth stood there, shocked. What was happening? Was she suggesting that they just separate and forget each other? They were a family. They were one. They could not be separated.

"So you want a separation."

She whispered a barely audible, "Yes." She covered her face with her hands. There was nothing he wanted to more than to just hold her. So he did, and she let him. They lay down on the bed, her head buried in his chest. She cried and cried, but at the same time, she grasped onto her husband, her stronghold for so many years. She wanted to remember the bittersweet pain and comfort she felt with him for one last time. He tried to memorize everything about her before he left. Her hair, her steady breaths punctuated by sobs, the smell of her salty tears. And then he would leave. He would always follow her wishes, whatever she wanted, he would do.

---

Seth hadn't gone to bed the whole night. He thought that maybe if he didn't sleep, then tomorrow would never come. Time was his greatest enemy, and he couldn't stop it. After what seemed like only seconds, the dawn was upon him. He had rubbed small circles on Summer's back until he was sure that she was sleeping. He pushed her hair out of her face, and just looked at her. The woman he loved. He knew she was scared, but it still hurt that she could believe that he would love anyone else like he loved her. The sun pushed it's rays onto their bodies, and Seth knew it was time to go. He heard faint crying in the next room, and knew that his son somehow knew as well.

He walked into the next room, and found his son crying his eyes out. After changing his diaper, Seth sat in their rocking chair until he was able to soothe Danny's cries. He looked at his baby, his son, and just marveled at the fact that he looked so much like him. His head was full of curly brown locks of hair. Looking into his eyes was like looking into a mirror. He even had dimples like his father. His nose and chin were like Summer's, but the rest was all Seth. He just rocked back and forth, singing softly. He wanted his son to remember his voice, not the voice he heard on a cd, but his real voice, singing to him on this early morning, on this lonely day.

Some lonely tears dripped out of Seth's eyes.

"I'm gonna miss you, little guy, but I promise that I will be back for you and your mom. It might be awhile before I can convince her to take me back, but it will happen. You guys can't get rid of me that easily. But I know that your mom is gonna take really good care of you, and that you've got uncle Ryan and Aunt Marissa just around the corner, to help you out whenever your mom gets a rage blackout. And you've got your grandparents just a few blocks away…everything will be fine, I promise. I love you. I'm going to miss you so much. I don't want you to think that I'm leaving you on purpose because I'm not. It's just the way things ended up. Daddy did a really stupid thing and now he has to pay for it. But just know that I will always keep in touch with you, and if you ever need me I'll be there. I know you don't understand now, but I promise that you will as you get older. But right now I have to go before your mom wakes up. I love you so much Danny. Take care of her for me. She pretends that she's strong, but she needs help sometimes too."

Seth kissed him and put him back into his crib. As soon as his head hit the bed, Danny started fussing and flailing about. "Hey, hey, easy." The baby reached out for something near the dresser. "Oh, you want Captain Oats? Okay, here you go. I hope he comforts you as much as he has comforted me. Just remember me, okay Danny? I love you." Seth put the horse next to Danny in the crib. Danny clutched onto the horse as he quieted down.

He walked back into their room and threw some clothes into a bag. Summer was still sleeping soundly on the bed. He stood and watched her. She was so beautiful. He scribbled some words onto a piece of paper and set it on the nightstand. He leaned over and kissed his wife on the cheek, then picked up his bags and left. He walked out of their home and out of her life.

Say goodbye…

Nothing better by the Postal Service


	4. I need you now like I needed you then

__

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Fox or the OC.

Author's Note: Last chapter was a flashback, but this one is back to future time, a month before the time at the beginning of the story. Thus, Seth hasn't come back yet. Sorry, the time continuum is confusing in this story. Since my other story, **One**, is winding down to the end, I'll be focusing on this one and maybe some new stories. I'm fairly busy with the summer semester in school, so I may not be updating as much, but I'll try! Thanks for all the great feedback, keep leaving me some please. The song that goes along with this chapter is If you leave by OMD, _one of my favorite songs of all time. I based a lot of the story's events on this song--especially the part: Seven years went under the bridge like time was standing still. The version by _Nada Surf _works as well. Enjoy!_

****

Still Fighting It

__

Chapter 4: I need you now like I needed you then

If you leave, I won't cry   
I won't waste one single day   
But if you leave, don't look back   
I'll be running the other way   
Seven years went under the bridge   
Like time was standing still   
Heaven knows what happens now   
You've got to--you've gotta say you will   
  
I touch you once I touch you twice   
I won't let go at any price   
I need you now like I needed you then   
You always said we'd meet again

Someday…  
---

A month prior…

"Thanks for picking the boys up for me Ryan, it was just really hectic down at the office. Where are they now?" Summer hurried into the house and threw her stuff onto the counter. Ryan sat at the kitchen counter, reading the newspaper. He folded up the paper and set it down quietly.

"Up in Danny's room, playing on the computer. Listen, Summer…" Ryan's voice muted down to a whisper, "I think we have to talk about Danny."

"What is it? Is something wrong? Did he get into trouble at school?" Summer's brow furrowed into worry lines, and Ryan really respected his sister in law. She put Danny in front of everything, and cared so deeply for him. Seth would be proud; she was a great mom.

"No, calm down, it's just that he's been asking a lot of questions lately. You know, about Seth." Her expression turned sour slightly. It was always hard to talk about Seth with her.

"He's always asked questions Ryan, and we've always been truthful. He knows why mommy and daddy do not live in the same house, or in the same state, etc. I explained that to him when he first asked. And Seth regularly sends him postcards from the road."

"I know that, and believe me that's almost the most normal situation that he can be brought up in, but he's been asking more intrusive questions like when Seth is going to come back and when can he have a brother or sister. He wants to know how to make Seth and you get back together, basically."

Summer sighed. Seven years without Seth and it never got easier. "Well, it's not like I haven't let him come back here Ryan, I've invited him to every party, every event we've had for Danny. He's just too busy with touring and recording."

"I know, but you've never actually asked Seth to come back. You've sent him invitations and stuff, but you, Summer, have never asked. You know that if you did, he'd be on the first plane back here. Don't you think it's time your son met his father?"

"Ryan, if Seth wants to come back, he knows that he can. He doesn't need my permission."

"Yes he does, you know Seth. He needs you to reassure him that things won't be weird."

"How could they not be? We haven't seen each other in seven years, Ryan," she paused for a short while that made Ryan slightly uncomfortable. He hated playing the middle man. "I don't know, I'll talk to Danny about it."

"Don't just talk to Danny, talk to Seth, Summer, he needs to know. He's Danny's father."

"I know, I know. They should meet so maybe they can have a normal relationship down the line. I don't want Danny to end up hating Seth. And I suppose I'll have to talk to him sometime or another about the whole state of our marriage, so I guess I'll have to give him a call."

"Good. I promise Summer, this is for the better. Seth needs to be a bigger part of Danny's life. Danny needs a father."

"He's got you and Sandy, you guys are doing a great job with him."

"Thanks. But we're not his father. Trust me, he needs this. Just do it for your son. And do it for Seth." Summer nodded softly and slowly made her way up the stairs to check up on the two boys.

Danny shushed his best friend, Brian. His head was up against the door, trying to listen to every word his mom and his uncle were saying to each other. They were obviously talking about him, the tones always became more hushed when they did. He shouldn't have asked so many questions in the car today. But he needed to know. Danny Cohen was not like the rest of the kids his age. Other kids, like Brian, were obsessed with videogames and sports and the latest music and movies. While he liked that stuff, and always had a steady supply of everything he could ever want from his mom and grandparents, he always thought about deeper things, for a seven year old anyway. He knew that his family was different. He wasn't like kids who had two parents, a mom and a dad and brothers and sisters. But then he wasn't like the kids whose parents were divorced either. His parents were still married, but they just hadn't lived together for years. He needed to know his dad. That's why he always tried to get more information from his uncle or his grandparents. But no one liked talking about him too much, especially around his mom. But he'd never even seen his dad.

Well, that wasn't really true. He saw his dad all the time, on tv and in magazines. Everyone thought it was so cool that his dad was "Seth Cohen." He didn't even know who the real "Seth Cohen" was. Brian was chattering away about plans for Danny's next birthday party when Danny heard his mother's faint footsteps on the stairs. He ran back to the computer and closed the window of the internet browser. He did not want his mom to know that he was looking at his dad's official website. It wasn't that he was not allowed to look at his dad's site or listen to his music, but underneath all of confusion, Danny knew that each time he mentioned his father, Summer hurt a little more inside. And he didn't want to hurt his mom like his dad did. Danny did everything to please his mom because he knew that it was hard enough having a constant reminder of Seth around. He didn't want to upset her by making her think that she wasn't good enough for him.

The door creaked open as Summer popped her head in. "Hi boys, how was school?"

"Good, Mrs. Cohen!" Brian gleefully shouted. He was an exuberant child, just like his dad had been.

"Good, Mom." Danny was more subdued, he always deliberated the answer before replying to anything.

"Brian, will you be staying for dinner with us tonight?"

"I don't think so, I think my dad said he was gonna pick me up at 4:30 after his meeting."

"Oh, okay, well then I guess it's just you and me kiddo. What do you want to eat?"

"I don't care, anything is fine." Summer could tell that Danny was in one of his moods. He was always quiet when he thought about his father.

"Hmm, okay. Well, I guess I can scrounge something up for us then. What were you guys doing?"

"We were planning Danny's party. I think it should be Batman themed."

"I think that's a great idea, Bri, what about you Danny?"

"Yeah, that's okay, I guess."

"Just okay? You love Batman. You've almost read all of the comics we have. And trust me, your dad had like a billion so that's a lot." Danny inherited his father's love of comic books, amongst many other traits. Every time Summer looked at her son, she saw a miniature version of Seth. They looked exactly alike, with their eyes and dimples and that unruly hair. It was a constant reminder. They acted the same way, both were extremely bright, and were quick to come back with smart comments. Danny was so precocious, _she_ could barely keep up with him. Hardly anyone could.

Danny's eared perked up at the sound of his mom even mentioning his father. She rarely did that. She must have been in a pretty good mood. "Do you think he's gonna make it to the party this year?" he whispered.

"I don't know, sweetie, he's got a new album and I'm sure he's really busy with promoting it and finishing up the last minute details. I'll send him an invitation though and we'll see."

Danny smiled even though he knew there was no hope in the situation. His mom sent his dad invitations to everything. And then he would get Uncle Ryan or Aunt Marissa to send another one just in case the first one got lost. But every year it was the same thing, he'd get a card or postcard from some exotic location wishing him a happy birthday. Sometimes, if he was lucky, he'd get an email or a call, but his dad was always overseas or in the studio. But he had to give it to his dad, he never forgot. He always tried to call whenever he had time. And he sent the best presents. Last year, his dad had bought them a baby grand piano, and asked his mom to sign Danny up for lessons. He loved to play the piano, it made him feel that much closer to his father. His grandparents said he was a natural, like his dad. And then Seth would send him rare comics, and special editions of books to read. Or copies of big movies that hadn't hit the theaters yet. But still, it didn't make up for the fact that he never got to see him.

"I'm going to go start preparing dinner, you do all of your homework yet?"

"It's Friiiday," Brian exaggerated.

Summer laughed, "Okay. Well I'll call you when your dad gets here Brian." She walked out of the room and shut the door.

---

Long after Luke had come to pick up his son, Summer and Danny sat at the dinner table in silence. Danny poked at his potstickers with his chopsticks. He didn't have much of an appetite. "So, Danny, it's magazine day."

"Oh."

"Come on, you love magazine day. You want me to put them up in your room after dinner, so you can look at them?" Danny had a ritual that he had started as soon as he could read. Each time new magazines came for his mother, he would look through the celebrity pages to see if there were any pictures of his dad, so he could rip them out, so she wouldn't have to see them. At first he had done this in secret, but Summer caught on fairly quickly when the pages started disappearing. She was lucky to have a son who cared so much about her feelings. He knew she didn't like seeing or talking about Seth, so he did it for her. But maybe this was too much for him, keeping it all inside. Maybe he did need to talk about it, and she was just making it worse by not bringing it out into the open.

"So, are you okay with going over to Aunt Marissa and Uncle Ryan's house tonight?"

"Yeah, I don't know why I can't just stay here though."

"Danny, you're 7, you can't stay at home by yourself.

"But, Jenna follows me around everywhere…"

"She's your cousin, be nice. It's only for a few hours anyway while Mommy goes on her meeting."

"Why are you having a meeting so late?"

"Well, it's a special meeting," Summer didn't really know how to approach the subject of dating with Danny, so she didn't. She would soon though, as she was starting to get serious about her new boyfriend. She didn't think he would take too well to the news, since he still wanted her to get back with his father. "How about I clean up here, and you go pack up some stuff to take over there."

"Okay." He trudged up the steps slowly, laboriously. Summer sighed and leaned up against the counter top. In a Lacoste shirt, brown cords, and Chuck Taylors, he was a miniature of his father. She loved that about him. She hated that he was so sullen and sad as of late. Growing up without a parent was hard, she knew that better than anyone. But unlike her situation, she could change this for Danny. She picked up the phone, and dialed the number that she had somehow burned into her memory.

"Hi, Seth? It's me…we need to talk about our son…"

__

If you leave by OMD


	5. let me go and you will find someone

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada.

Author's Note: Here's the next part. Thanks to all the readers--especially those who faithfully review my stories. I love those getting those emails with familiar names in them. Thanks for reading! The song that goes along with this chapter is Yellowcard's Only One, _which is probably my favorite song off their Ocean Avenue album. Since I recently saw them in concert, I'm going to pimp them a little--they rock live! The version in this story is meant to be the acoustic version of the song. Oh, and the next chapter of **One **will be coming out this weekend. Enjoy…_

Still Fighting It

Chapter 5: So let me go and you will find someone

His palms were sweaty, so he wiped them on his jeans. He undid the top button of his shirt to let some cool air reach his skin. He was burning up. Seth felt faint. He always felt nervous and nauseous when he was faced with something that scared him. His bodyguard threw the last of his luggage onto the jet and followed him into the plane. His songwriting partner, Jimmy Nelson was already sitting in a plush leather seat, on the phone with his wife probably. Seth took a seat near the middle of the spacious plane between his agent and publicist. It was another routine trip to Los Angeles, to make some radio appearances and public signings. Well not really. Not really routine at all because this time, Seth was not just going to LA for a few days to hang out. He was going back home to Orange County to see his family.

His family. Is that what they still were?

He hadn't known what to do when he heard his wife's voice on the other end of the line. He had been shocked to say the least. He hadn't talked to Summer directly for 7 years and she just up and called his home phone number. He had been afraid that something had happened to their son, or to his parents or to Ryan or Marissa. But what she asked scared him more than any of those prospects did.

She asked him to come home.

Was he ready to do this? He knew that he owed it to Danny, and to Summer. But Seth was scared, what did his son think of him, a faceless factor who had never been there for him? Did he hate him? Did he even know what to think? Sure, Seth sent him presents on his birthday and Chrismukkah, but surely that wasn't enough. He tried to call sometimes, but felt it too hard to hear the pain in the little boy's voice. So he wrote letters to him, telling him about the places he had been and the things he got to do. But even those were rare.

He didn't know why he had kept his distance for so many years. He could have come back on any of the times that he had received an invitation to a birthday party or to some family reunion. But he didn't. He supposed that he was scared of the unknown. He didn't want to come back and face the music, so to speak. Seth knew that once he set foot in that town, his life would be changed. No longer could he hide behind the false walls of the music industry or of celebrity and fame. He would just be Seth Cohen again. He would once again be lost and a nobody. And Summer would leave him.

He guessed that Summer probably wanted a divorce. He couldn't expect her to wait forever. She had a life too, and it wasn't fair for her to be bound to him forever, but he didn't want it to happen. He still loved her with every fiber in his body. He never stopped. She was everything to him. Both she and Danny were. Every bit of success he had earned had been because of them. They motivated him. All of his hits were written about them. Every platinum record was earned by them and how they affected him.

"Seth?" Jimmy leaned over and handed Seth some Tylenol.

"Yeah?"

"You feeling okay? You look sort of pale."

"I'm fine."

"Don't worry, everything will be fine. Cheer up, I just talked to Cindy and she said the single reached the top 10 on Billboard."

"Great." Seth slipped on his headphones and quietly fell into a deep sleep. He wasn't much of a talker when he was thinking about his family. Jimmy sat there and listened to some of the tracks on the upcoming cd. Each cd had it's own special sound, but every sound had that common theme. Every song was about Summer, trying to explain Seth's feelings, trying to ask for her forgiveness. Anyone who listened to the lyrics could tell that Seth was still in love with her. Jimmy hoped that this trip would mend some of his wounds.

---

Summer bustled around the house, tidying everything up. She had only talked to Seth a few weeks ago, but he was due to arrive in a couple of days. She was nervous, but not all because of him. Tonight, she was going to introduce Danny to her boyfriend, Jared. They had been going out for a few months now, ever since she met him while redecorating his house. She thought it was the right time to tell Danny, right before his father came back and he started expecting his parents to get back together. Summer was scared of what he would think though. She wasn't sure that he would understand why his mother was seeing another man.

The radio was turned up full blast. The announcer cheesed his way through another introduction before starting a new song. Seth's new song. He had sent them a preview copy of his new cd a few weeks back. Danny tried not to listen to it too much in front of her, but she could sometimes hear it in the background while he was falling asleep in his room. It saddened her to think that this was the strongest connection to his father that he had. She hadn't told him about Seth coming yet. She hoped that he would be thrilled. Summer sat down for a second at the table and listened to the song, one that she didn't really recognize. She often turned the station when she heard any of Seth's songs. Sure, she was proud of his success, but each word of each song always seared into her soul. His songs hurt her because they were all about them. This one was no different.

Broken this fragile thing now  
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces  
And I've thrown my words all around  
But I can't, I can't give you a reason  
  
I feel so broken up (so broken up)  
And I give up (I give up)  
I just want to tell you so you know  
  
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do  
You are my only, my only one  
  
Made my mistakes, let you down  
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long  
Ran my whole life in the ground  
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone  
  
And something's breaking up (breaking up)  
I feel like giving up (like giving up)  
I won't walk out until you know  
  
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do  
You are my only my only one  
  
Here I go, so dishonestly  
Leave a note for you my only one  
And I know you can see right through me  
So let me go and you will find someone  
  
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you  
You are my only, my only one  
My only one  
My only one  
My only one  
You are my only, my only one

---

The three sat at their kitchen table in silence. Danny glared at the man across the table. He was big with brown hair. He sort of looked like Brian's dad, Luke. But less cool. Who was this man, coming into their house and having dinner with them? Who did he think he was? He acted too nicely, asking Danny all these questions about school and his interests. Danny didn't like him very much at all.

And that was what Summer had been afraid of.

Summer got up to put the dishes in the sink, and immediately, Jared did the same. "Let me, hun."

This man acted like he was already part of their family. Danny much preferred it only being his mother and him. He brought his plate to the sink and set it on the counter.

"Danny, why don't you show Jared your room while I clean up these dishes?" Danny nodded, anything to get Jared away from his mom.

"So, I see you like comic books. You know I used to collect them too when I was a kid."

"They are okay."

"What else do you like to do, play on the computer, watch TV?"

"Yeah, I guess." Danny wasn't really giving Jared much to work with. Jared frowned at the boy.

"You have a lot of cds for a 7 year old."

"They're my dad's cds. See, these are his old ones. This is one he just sent me and_ my mom_ two weeks ago. It's not even released yet. Do you want to hear it? Maybe you want to hear the song my mom likes best?" Danny wanted to remind this guy that his dad was sort of in the picture still, even if he were not here. He had to protect his mom somehow.

"No thanks. Listen, Danny I want to talk to you about your mom." Danny pretended to busy himself with something on his desk. "See, I really like your mom, and you are so important to her. So, I know that your opinion of me means a lot to her. I'm not saying that you have to love me or anything, but just try to act happy for us. You want your mom to be happy, don't you?"

Danny glared at Jared once more. He really disliked this man. There was something about him that he didn't trust. Granted he didn't have too much interaction with adults, but he could tell when someone was not a good person. He felt that way whenever he was around Aunt Marissa's mom, his great-grandmother, Julie. "It's cute that you care about your dad so much, but he was in the past. I'm apart of your mom's future. You're going to have to accept that eventually." Jared walked out of the room as Danny silently fumed. He quietly crept out into the hall and picked up the phone. He could hear his mother laughing downstairs at something Jared had said no doubt.

"Hello?"

"Aunt Marissa?"

"Oh, hi Danny, what's up? Something wrong?"

"No, umm, can I talk to Uncle Ryan?"

"Sure, let me get him. You sure there's nothing wrong."

"I'm sure."

"Okay, here ya go." Danny couldn't talk to Aunt Marissa. She was a girl, she wouldn't understand about this feeling he was getting from Jared.

"Hey kiddo, how's it going?"

"Bad, Uncle Ryan."

"Bad? How so?"

"Mommy brought a man home today. His name is Jared. I don't like him."

Ryan audibly sighed on the phone. On one hand, he knew that Summer had to move on with her life at some point, since no one could expect her to wait around forever. But then on the other hand, Seth was his brother, and he didn't want any other guy stepping in on his territory. Ryan knew it was hard for Danny to comprehend the situation. All he knew was that his father wasn't there, but some random guy was. "Did you try to get to know him? Maybe he's a nice guy."

"He said he was apart of mom's future. You have to help me, he's going to take over my mom and then she'll leave me too." Ryan could hear muffled sobs coming from the other side of the line. His heart broke for his nephew. Ryan knew how it felt to be abandoned by his father. He knew the fear of another man coming in and taking away his mother's affections from him. He knew that nothing anyone could say would quell those thoughts of loneliness. But he would try for the sake of his nephew to make him feel better.

"Hey, hey. Danny, don't talk like that. Your mom would never leave you. She loves you. And you know that your dad didn't have a choice but to leave. He didn't want to leave. He loves you very much too, and I know he wishes he could be there with you everyday, but it's just complicated. I can't really explain it, but I want you to know that no one is going anywhere. No one is taking anyone away from you. Not your mom, not me, not your aunt, and not your grandparents. We're here for you, okay? Okay, I'm going to come over in a few minutes, you just sit tight, and I'll be there."

Danny sat in his darkened bedroom. He turned on the cd player and listened as his father's voice filled the air. He turned the volume up. He didn't care if his mom got mad right now. She was with someone else anyway probably forgetting that he was even there. His father's voice was so smooth and clear. He could almost imagine him here, in his room, singing him to sleep. But it was only a reproduction. Never the real thing. Danny longed for the real thing. Every night when he said his prayers, he prayed so hard that his dad would come back so that they could be a family again. It wasn't likely to happen now, since there was someone new in the picture. He grabbed Captain Oats from the nightstand and cradled the horse in his arms. He heard the doorbell ring and knew that his uncle had come as promised. Uncle Ryan never broke his promises.

Danny wished that Ryan could promise that his dad would come back because Uncle Ryan never broke a promise, so maybe there would be a better chance of his wish coming true.

Only One by Yellowcard


	6. I picked you up and everything changed

_Rating: PG_

_Disclaimer: I don't own the OC or much of anything else for that matter._

_Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated quickly--I've had a crappy week and an even crappier day thanks to my organic chem test. But, I hope you enjoy. There's a lot of action in this one. I think this is my favorite chapter so far---so please tell me what you think of it. The song that goes along with this chapter is, of course, _Still Fighting It by Ben Folds _off the Rockin' the Suburbs album (sound familiar? that's where I got my pen name--one of my favorite albums). It's the inspiration for this story and one of my favorite songs ever. I'm working on some new stories, so keep an eye out for them. Enjoy..._

_Still Fighting It_

_Chapter 6: I picked you up and everything changed_

The children gathered around him at the patio table, all smiling and laughing. They all leaned in toward the big cake with all 8 candles lit. It was shaped like Batman, and Danny couldn't wait until they cut it. It was his favorite, mint chocolate chip ice cream with chocolate cake. He wondered if his dad liked that kind of cake too. As the song winded down, Brian made sure his voice was the loudest as he wished his best friend a happy birthday. A girl from Danny's class elbowed Brian, and smiled at Danny. Summer noticed, Danny was going to be quite the lady killer one day.

Luke rolled his eyes at his wife, Stacy, and Summer. Ryan laughed and Marissa juggled one daughter in her arms, while trying to get the other to sit still at the table. His great grandpa, Caleb, sat with his wife, Julie at the other side of the table. Sandy and Kirsten stood behind their grandson as he blew out all of the candles on his first try. He loved his birthday, and all holidays for that matter. Just like someone else they all knew.

I wish…

It was only one day a year that he got to wish for something, and hopefully it would come true. He looked up at his mom, who had Jared's arm wrapped around her shoulder. Maybe he should've wished for Jared to leave their family alone instead. Summer smiled and enthused, "Great job, Danny. Okay, kids, let me cut the cake, then it'll be time to open presents!" The kids cheered, and waited as Summer divided generous pieces up. The adults sat around the backyard, talking and watching as the kids tore into their cake. All of them were so happy, so cheerful. Innocent.

"MOM! Can we open presents now?" Danny looked up eagerly at Summer.

"In a sec, sweetie. I gotta get some more batteries for the camera." Summer walked into the house and heard the doorbell ringing. She hoped that the person who was waiting on the other side hadn't been waiting for that long.

Seth stood outside his house. He pushed the doorbell again, but still no answer. He heard the sound of laughter coming from the back and figured that they were all having lots of fun in the yard. Maybe it was wrong to come back here. He knew that it was time, but on the day of his son's party? Was he ready to see everyone at the same time? He wasn't sure he was ready to see Summer alone, nevertheless his parents, Ryan, and Danny all in one place.

Seth turned to head back to his car. Summer stuck her head outside. She sucked in a breath which was barely audible, but Seth heard it. He turned and saw her. Really saw her. Summer stood there in khaki capris and a blue halter top. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, and her skin was pale and milky. He supposed all those days in the office didn't leave much time for tanning anymore. Even though she looked different, she was exactly as he remembered or as he pictured she was going to look. Beautiful. Neither knew what to say. Words weren't necessary, even though they both had so much to tell each other. Summer broke the silence.

"Where do you think you're going, Cohen?" He smiled while his heart ached at the sound of her nickname for him.

"Nowhere." She smiled weakly. It was so awkward to be here, with her husband that she had not seen for so long and not think of anything to say. He rendered her speechless. Her heart thudded in her chest. She couldn't breathe. He was there, in all of his Sethness. Jeans, sneakers, a striped button down shirt and a black blazer, sunglasses. He looked like the rockstar he was. She felt like a 16 year old again, getting all riled up over some celebrity. Even _if_ she was married to that celebrity. His hair was still a Jewfro, and she would have gave anything in world to run her hand through it, but she didn't. That's not what estranged spouses did.

He stepped up to her and gave her a hug. His arms wrapped around her tightly. It was okay to do that wasn't it? He didn't know, and he didn't really care. It had been too long without her touch, and even if she hated him, he still loved her. And he needed to feel her. He took a deep breath and smelled all that reminded him of his teenage years, and his college years, all the years they had been together. His happy years. The years he had been found, and not lost like he was currently. He brushed his lips against her cheek, meant in a friendly fashion, but it was filled with much more meaning than that. It was awkward, yet comfortable. It was as if nothing had changed at all.

Her eyes widened slightly as she was taken aback. She reddened and became flustered.

"Sorry, sorry Sum, I didn't really mean that as anything…" He was quickly reminded that things were not the same anymore. It hurt.

"No, no umm, it's okay. It's good to see you. Come on in, everyone is out back." She led Seth into the house and stood with him in the foyer. They stood there for a second, just looking at one another. Neither had really looked like they had changed, but they knew that everything between them had. Seth's fears were calmed a bit as Summer put her arm on his and started to lead him out through the family room.

"MOM! Presents! WHERE ARE YOU?" Summer winced as Danny screamed through the house. He burst out into the room, and stopped abruptly. Seth nervously smiled as Summer let go of his arm. He looked at Seth. Seth looked at him. They both stood there.

Kirsten followed her grandson into the house, and saw her own son standing in front of him. She covered her mouth to keep anyone from hearing her gasp. Sandy followed her, and raised his eyebrows when he saw the same scene. Their son was home.

Danny's face slowly changed into a look of realization. The eyes, the smile, the hair. They were all like his own. This was real. His wish had come true. Seth eyes began to tear up as he wished he could make up for all the time he had lost. This was his son. This boy who looked exactly like him. This boy whom he had disappointed.

He should have come back a long time ago.

Tears started falling from Summer's eyes as she beheld this moment.

"Hey Danny…" Seth spoke slowly, not sure of what was going to happen. Danny's face crumpled as the tears began to fall from his eyes. He ran and flung himself into Seth's arms. Seth held him. Hugged him tight. He was holding his son. Nothing could ever feel as bittersweet or right as that moment._Good morning son_

_I am a bird_

_Wearing a brown polyester shirt_

_You want a coke? Maybe some fries?_

_The roast beef combo's only $9.95_

_It's okay, you don't have to pay_

_I've got all the change_

_Everybody knows it hurts to grow up_

_And everybody does, it's so weird to be back here_

_Let me tell you what_

_The years go on and we're still fighting it_

_We're still fighting it_

_And you're so much like me…_

_I'm sorry_

_Good morning son_

_In twenty years from now_

_Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers_

_And I can tell you 'bout today_

_And how I picked you up and everything changed_

_It was pain, sunny days, and rain_

_I knew you'd feel the same thing_

_Everybody knows it sucks to grow up_

_And everybody does, it's so weird to be back here_

_Let me tell you what_

_The years go on and we're still fighting it_

_We're still fighting it_

_You can try, and try and one day_

_You'll fly away from here_

_Good morning son_

_Good morning son_

_Good morning son_

_I am a bird_

_It was pain, sunny days, and rain_

_I knew you'd feel the same thing_

_Everybody knows it hurts to grow up_

_And everybody does it's so weird to be back here_

_Let me tell you what_

_The years go on and we're still fighting it_

_We're still fighting it_

_We're still fighting it_

_And you're so much like me_

_I'm sorry_

_---_

Long after all the parents had come to pick up their kids, a few remaining adults wandered around cleaning up the disaster that was fifteen children under the age of 8. Seth tried to help out as much as he could but found that he didn't know where anything was, or where to put anything back in its rightful place. It was a further reminder that this wasn't his home anymore. Luke walked up and patted him on the shoulder.

"We really missed you here Cohen, Newport wasn't the same after you left."

"Thanks, man. It seems like everyone has done pretty well though. I mean, you all have families and successful businesses. You took over one of your dad's dealerships right?"

"Yeah, it's treating us well. Brian, he loves to tell people that his dad owns a car dealership, but he loves to tell people anything, true or not." They looked over at Brian's sleeping figure on the couch in the family room. He was a smaller version of his father.

"He's something. Rambunctious like his father, I see."

"I prefer to think that he gets it from Stacy."

"Hmm? Are you talking about me, Luke?" she folded her arms across her chest and looked at her husband from across the room where she was standing with Summer. She walked over and linked her arm with his. Seth thought they looked like the perfect Newport couple.

"Well, I was just saying how incredibly beautiful and smart and perfect you are."

"Ohh god Luke, please don't make us vomit," Marissa rolled her eyes at her ex and teased. They had gotten over their differences long ago after Seth left, when they had both supported Summer. She had eventually forgiven him.

"Well, she is. Seth, I don't think I've properly introduced you. Stacy, this is Seth Cohen, mega-recording star. Seth, this is my mega-beautiful wife, Stacy. And don't make any cracks about Stacy's mom or you're dead." Ryan, Marissa, Summer, and Stacy all chuckled, but Seth felt it uncomfortable. When had the subject of Luke and Marissa's mom's, his step-grandmother, affair become so passe? Luke saw his expression and reassured him, "Don't worry about it Cohen, we all got over it. It's all in the past now."

"Right." When had things changed so much? Everything and everyone was different. Ryan was the alpha-father who openly showed his emotions to his wife. Luke was another great dad who was kind and generous and was probably teaching his son to be a good person and not bully kids. Marissa was now mentally stable. That was the most shocking change of all.

And Summer. Well Summer was so much more serious and subdued now. Gone were the days of frivolously reading Riviera magazine and commenting on celebrity boob jobs. She was Summer the business woman, with people to see and things to do. She was Summer the mom, who lived for her son. She was so responsible. He was supposed to be the responsible one who watched out for her while she had her crazy shopping sprees and spa days. But he had abandoned her. He had abandoned all of them.

"Well, we better wake up Bri and get going. He's going to never fall asleep tonight if we let him nap for too long."

"See ya man, thanks for coming."

"No problem, I'll see you sometime soon." Luke and Stacy packed up and got ready to leave. Ryan leaned over to him, "Yeah, we better get going too. I have some work I have to finish up at home."

"Okay, well I'll see you later. I'll call you and tell you how this goes."

"Sure. Later, Seth."

Seth waved as Ryan and Marissa and company walked out to their car. A minivan. What the hell. They all had really changed.

"So, glad to be back in Newport?" Jared walked up beside him and put a firm arm on his shoulder.

"Yeah, it's nothing like what I remember."

"Well, it was 7 years ago that you left." That stung. Who was this guy to tell him anything? He didn't know the circumstances, he didn't know them. He was about to come back with a biting come back, but thought the better of it. He wanted to stay on Summer's good side, and picking a fight with her new boyfriend was not the way to do it.

Summer walked outside and stood between the two men. Jared put his arms around her, and Seth wanted to strangle him. "Babe, I have to go soon, I have a flight to catch in the morning, but I'll call you later okay?"

"Okay." He leaned down to kiss her and Seth was about ready to vomit right then and there. "Bye, hun." It was awkward standing there and listening to her call another man, "Hun." That's what she called him. He walked off to his ostentatiously showy SL600. What a douche bag.

They both walked into the house and sat down on the couch. Seth reached over to the armchair and ruffled Danny's hair slightly. He was fast asleep, tired from all the exciting events of the day. After Seth's arrival, he had been attached to his side the whole afternoon. And it felt so nice. "He's sweet isn't he?" Summer came up behind him and watched her son sleep. He looked so much like Seth it was scary.

"Yeah. I didn't think Jewfros could look so cute."

She smiled. "Well, a Jewfro basically made all that money for you. All those women screaming, "Can I touch your hair?"

"Well, I can't help it if I'm irresistible." She rolled her eyes just like old times. It felt so natural being here, talking like they used to.

"So, umm…thanks for coming back for his party."

"No problem. I would have come back before, but you know. The tours and stuff."

"Yeah. Seth, we have to talk about some things." Danny shifted and slowly opened his eyes. Seth was happy to turn his attention away from Summer's serious tone.

"Hey kiddo, ready for me to take you upstairs for bed?" Danny nodded and let Seth pick him up.

"Can I sleep in your and mommy's bed with you guys?" Seth must have had a bewildered expression on his face because Summer shot him a look.

"Well, Danny, I don't think I'm going to be sleeping in there tonight. I think I'm gonna be going to a hotel."

"Are you leaving again, Dad? Don't leave."

"No, I'm not leaving. I'm gonna be really close, I promise I will see you tomorrow morning, bright and early."

Danny looked heartbroken. Why were his parents now staying together? Weren't parents supposed to sleep in the same house? "Actually, Seth, you can stay here and take the guest room, I don't mind. It would probably be best that way, since then you don't have to drive back and forth."

"Please Daddy?"

"Umm, okay, if it's okay with you, Sum." She nodded. "Well, then I guess I'll take you upstairs and get you ready for bed."

Summer stood, looking out at the sea from their living room. She silently wondered if this was such a good idea, having Seth stay in the house. She was sure that it would be awkward and uncomfortable, and she was also sure that Jared wouldn't be too pleased. She just wanted Danny to be happy though, and he had been without his father for too long. Seth walked up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She shivered. He still had that effect on her after all these years.

"Sorry. Umm, before I put him to bed, I just want to say thanks for letting me stay. I mean, I know you're probably not too comfortable with it and you're just doing it for his sake, and I appreciate that. After he gets the fact that I'm not going to be leaving him, I can just go and stay with my parents so I won't burden you."

"You're not a burden, Seth. It's fine, you should stay here with him."

"Okay, well we'll figure something out later, I'm going to go read to him. Goodnight." He gave her a friendly pat on the back and a smile.

How was it so effortless for him? From the moment she saw him walking on the driveway, her heart had been in pain. Was it that easy for him to just walk in and act like they had never even been married or known each other at all? Every look, every move he made reminded her of some distant memory. They were married. But soon enough, she would ask him for a divorce then they would be over. It would be the right thing for everyone. Her stomach churned though, why was it so hard to let go of him? They had been apart for seven years already. She couldn't forget what had happened in the past.

Seth sat on the bed next to his son, reading the story, watching as the boy fell back into sleep. Seth lay his head on the pillow, and thought about what had happened. He had met his intelligent and beautiful son. He had seen Summer again. What did he feel for Summer? He loved her, he always had and always would. Seeing her with another man hurt him greatly, but Seth knew that she needed someone in her life to take care of her and treat her like the goddess she was. But he wanted to be that person. Each time he was even less than five feet away from her, he felt the heat between their bodies. It's as if their bodies remembered each other and were yearning, calling out by sending heat to the other. The connection was undeniable for him. She was undeniable. When they touched, he felt the spark run through his nerves. They had so much history and love and memories in the past, she couldn't possibly turn her back on all of that. And not to mention the fact that they had a child together.

Summer walked into Danny's room to kiss him goodnight, and paused at the door. Both father and son were fast asleep. She retucked Danny into bed and kissed his forehead gently. She walked to the other side of the bed and pulled the covers over Seth's body. He shifted and her skin made contact with his arm for a brief second. Goosebumps grew along Seth's arm. Her breaths became more shallow but she couldn't figure out why. She took a deep breath and turned out the lights in the room, savoring the scene for one last time.

_Still Fighting It by Ben Folds_


	7. enjoy the silence

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. Hopefully I'll be able to update sooner next time, but my summer schedule is very hectic, and doesn't leave me too much time to write. Thanks for all the reviews--my other stories are done as of now, so I'm channeling all of my focus onto this one, but I'm still toying around with ideas for other stories. I'll let you know if they ever get written : ) . The song that goes along with this chapter is the darker, Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode. _I feel it really fits with the mood of this scene. Thanks for reading--keep on reviewing! Enjoy…_

Still Fighting It

_Chapter 7: Enjoy the Silence_

Words like violence, break the silence

Come crashing in, into my little world

Painful to me, pierce right through me

Can't you understand, oh my little girl

All I ever wanted, all I ever needed

Was here in my arms

Words are very unnecessary

They can only do harm

Vows are spoken to be broken

Feelings are intense

Words are trivial

Pleasures remain

So does the pain

Words are meaningless and forgettable

---

Summer sat at the kitchen table, looking at the bills that she had to pay this month. It had already been two weeks since Seth had come back and things were getting disturbingly rhythmic. The three of them woke up every day at the same time. Seth helped Danny get dressed for school while she made breakfast for all of them. They ate together, then Summer got ready for work as Seth ran the little carpool they had going with Luke and a few other parents. He would get home as she was leaving and get ready to drive up to LA for meetings and such, which took most of the morning and early afternoon. Summer would pick Danny up from school (or Ryan would if she were in a meeting) and then she would supervise him while he was doing his homework or watching television. At around 4:30, Seth would come home and the two boys would help her cook dinner. After dinner, she would go and meet Jared while Seth hung out with Danny or took him to Ryan and Marissa's or his parents house. They would come back, and Danny would get tucked in by his father. Summer would come home a little bit later, but still in time to give him a kiss goodnight. Then both parents would do whatever work they had until it was time for them to go to bed.

Today, however, was a break in the norm. Seth did not have any meetings that day, so he volunteered to pick Danny up and take him to piano lessons and then pick up something from the Lighthouse for dinner. So here she was, sitting at home, with nothing really to do. It was sort of nerve wrecking for her, since she usually devoted all of her free time to Danny. Seth wanted to spend as much time with Danny as he could, since his album was being released in two weeks, and thus, he would have to go on promotional tour. Luckily, he was already an established artist, and he did not have to go promote himself in every major market. She didn't know how Danny would react to his father being gone for another extended amount of time. He was getting so attached. The album was highly anticipated, so Seth only scheduled stops in New York, LA, Japan, Sydney, and London, and he had to call into several radio stations all over the world. He would be gone for the whole two weeks, and he wanted to make it up to their son. Summer didn't mind really, the more time they spent together, the more comfortable Danny got with his father, and that was good thing. And she got to spend a lot of time with Jared also, so it was a win-win situation. Well maybe not.

Jared. Now that was another problem. He wasn't so thrilled that her ex-husband was staying with her, but he understood. What he didn't understand was how she could go this long without asking for a divorce from Seth, and why she was prolonging it. And she knew he was right. She had to ask Seth, and she would do it when the time was appropriate, which was tonight.

Danny barged through the door and ran to his mom, waving an ice cream bar at her.

"Whoa, whoa. No running in the house, Danny. I see your father has chosen to get you a Balboa bar which will completely mess up your dinner," Summer rolled her eyes at Seth, who had just walked through the door behind their son.

"Come on, it's a Balboa bar, how could you say no."

"Well, not to mention that it makes him completely yper-hay."

Seth shook his head and smirked, "Not comprehending dear. Show your mom what we got her." For the first time, Summer noticed that Danny's fist was clenched. He opened his small fist and a chain dropped out on to the table. There was a small charm on it, what was it, a horse?

"Dad thinks it looks like Captain Oats, Mom," Danny grinned widely and Summer took the necklace.

"Well, thank you, Seth. That was very kind of you."

"Don't thank me, Danny picked it out. I'm just his financial backer."

"Can you help me put it on?" Seth stepped over to where Summer was sitting, and pulled her hair aside. His fingers softly grazed the back of her neck, but she was trying to act like nothing was happening at all while her stomach was fluttering about. Seth fumbled with the clasp, so he leaned in closely to try to hook it on. She felt his steady breathing and it made the small hairs on the back of her head stand on end. _Breathe, Summer. _Danny watched with the brightest smile on his face. His parents were very close, he could tell his mom was happy. Seth finally got the necklace on and let go.

"So, shall we get ready to eat Nana Cohen's famous meatloaf via the Lighthouse cooking staff? I'm sure your mom wants to go out and meet with Jared soon." Danny frowned at the mention of his name. He didn't understand why Mommy had to see him every day. She had Daddy now, she didn't need another man.

---

Summer walked into the family room where Seth and Danny were watching some Disney movie.

"Wait, so can you explain to me where the fish is trying to go? The subtleties are completely lost on me." His brow furrowed as he concentrated on the movie, as Danny was explaining to him the main plot points.

"Seth, can I talk to you for a second?" She hated herself for what she was about to say. She hated herself for having to break up a happy father-son moment.

"Sure," he got up from the couch, "make sure you pause it, I don't think I'll be able to pick up the plot if I miss too much." His son giggled and grabbed the remote.

The two adults stepped into the kitchen, and Seth leaned against the countertop. God his wife looked hot. She was wearing a simple spaghetti strapped cocktail dress, but it was perfect on her. She made everything that looked simple, complicated. Summer walked up to the counter next to him and leaned on it, then twirled around in a half circle to face him. Hmm, where had he seen this before. Ah, right before she had informed him of her status as a virgin. And right before she told him that she was pregnant. Obviously, she wasn't telling him either of those two things, well at least he hoped she wasn't telling him the latter. She flailed her arms a little, then let them drop to her side. She picked a spot opposite to him in the kitchen and leaned up against it. This meant something big was going to be said.

"Spit it out, Summer."

She looked at him nervously, "Spit what out, Cohen."

"Whatever you have to say. And anyway, you're a Cohen too."

"About that. Umm, this is kind of hard for me to say, but I'm just going to say it because it needs to be said and well I know that this might not be the best time to discuss this but you know I feel that it's right because you know…"

"You're rambling worse than me. What is it?" Seth was not liking this at all. He thought he had a pretty good idea of what was coming next.

"Well, I want a divorce. It's just that we've been separated for seven years, and now I'm in a serious relationship and it's time to move on you know? I'm not gonna ask for any ridiculous perks or anything, I mean, I won't ask for anything at all. We can set up something for Danny, you know like I guess alimony or whatever. But I mean, you'll still be around, so I guess that's not even that necessary. You can have full visitation, I'm not asking for custody or anything. Seth?" She looked into his eyes and saw the tears that threatened to fall. But he blinked and they were gone. His throat was extremely dry, and he was at a loss for words.

"I see. Well, you're right, we should talk about this. But now is not the best time, since you know who is sort of in the next room. But, we should have dinner on Saturday. Tomorrow, I'm taking him to Disneyland with Ryan and Jenna and the grandparents, so we may be back late." Seth tried to sound nonchalant and look occupied while looking at something imaginary on the countertop. "Yes, Saturday will work, I think. Umm, I have some meetings in the morning, but I'll be back for dinner. We can sort things out then," his voice and manner of speaking was stilted. How else was he supposed to react to this latest development in the saga of Summer and Seth?

"Okay, thanks Seth." Her voice was barely above a whisper. Seeing him so sad blew her mind. She hadn't figured this would be so hard. They had already been a part for seven years, it was the natural progression of things. This was supposed to happen, it was time. Time to move on. Her heart ached. It, like Seth, was not ready to move on.

Seth watched as Summer left for her date with Jared. He suddenly didn't feel so well. He picked up the phone and dialed his brother's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ryan, do you think you can do me a favor? I need you to come over and watch Danny. Marissa and the kids can come too if they want."

"Well, they're over at Julie and Caleb's right now. Is everything okay, man? You don't sound so hot."

"Umm, I'm not feeling that great. Summer just asked me for a divorce. Just come over as soon as you can, okay? I need to get out of here right now."

"I'll be right over."

---

Seth stumbled along the beach, feeling more alone than he had ever before. Even if he had brought Captain Oats with him. He felt so lost. He hurt so badly. The pain seethed through him, it seethed through every pore in his body. He burned for her. He flung a bottle of vodka he'd quickly finished into the sea. He slumped down in tears in the sand and looked at his friend in his hands.

"What am I going to do, Captain Oats, what am I going to do?" The horse just looked at him. "What a help you are." To anyone who was walking on the beach, he would've looked like some bum with no place to go, which was partially true. He did have nowhere to go. He didn't have anything left. Well, he had his son, and that's the only thing he had to show for himself in this life. And he hadn't even really been a real father to him yet. He'd just shown up a few weeks ago, and everything had been tailored to fit him. Seth still didn't know the first thing about fatherhood. He'd failed at that, just as he had failed at love. Seth took out a pen and paper, two things he always traveled with, and started writing. It was the only thing he knew how to do. After all these years, it was the only coping mechanism he had left. The mood of his next album was already going to be a downer, he could feel it. His cell phone rang, it was his manager with impeccable timing as usual.

"Hello? Hey Marc, how's it going?" Seth tried to sound as normal as possible. He always had to put up appearances when he dealt with business matters.

"Seth, we have great news."

"I could use some great news right about now, what is it?"

"You're going to be doing a concert, in Newport, on the beach. The record label came up with it, since they know that you've been spending quite a bit of time down there, when you should be up here promoting your new album…"

"Sorry, I have things to take care of." He sounded curt, and he knew it, but he didn't give a shit right now. Marc, of course, didn't notice. He never noticed, or he turned a blind eye to anything that was out of the ordinary.

"Well, fortunately the album has been getting great reviews, so I don't think we'll have a problem moving it. Which means, for you, less time away from your family or whatever it is that you are doing down there. So, it'll be when you get back from your promo tour, all you hits, and maybe some covers. We'll set up a stage and close off a section of the beach, so that it'll be an intimate setting you know with tables instead of just a standing room only crowd. It'll be very exclusive, they want your friends and family and I think the tickets will be on sale through your fan club and website only. They want to turn the performance into a DVD, and perhaps a live cd, so you really have to work on putting together this performance. I'll get you a list of songs they want you to do, and I'll call Jimmy. We can talk more about this on Saturday when you come to the office to meet with us."

"Okay."

"Sound a little less enthused will you?"

"My wife just asked for a divorce." It was out in the open. He didn't think any other words could be more hurtful and biting than those.

"Oh, I'm sorry man, but I didn't even think you were still married. You've been separated for a while now, haven't you?" Seth wanted to punch out the smug smile he knew played on Marc's face. Marc was a good man, just one that had been corrupted by the music industry and by the copious amount of money he earned. They were all the same.

"Seven years."

"Shit, man that's tough. Well, channel those emotions into song, Seth. I'll see you on Saturday."

Sometimes Seth hated the music industry. They cared about nothing other than dollar signs and decimal points. Everyone was so insensitive to everything. All of the dirty laundry always got aired out in the media. No one cared that there were real feelings involved. He wiped off the sand from his clothes and trudged back towards his car. He would pretend to be happy and that nothing had happened for his son, and only his son. No one would know that he was falling apart inside. He would go and act like he was fine with losing the only person he had ever loved. He could do that. He sighed, it was time to face the music.

Enjoy the silence by Depeche Mode


	8. you can't change this loneliness

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own and am not affiliated with The OC or Fox.

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was pretty hard to write for me. I hope you feel what I was trying to make the characters feel. The song that goes with this chapter is Down by Something Corporate_. They are one of my favorite bands, and this is one of my favorite songs off their new album, North. If you haven't heard it, I suggest reading this song as you listen to it--because it makes it that more melancholy. I'm going to post another Something Corporate inspired song this weekend hopefully, called Me and the Moon, but it's gonna be about Julie Cooper-Nichol, so you've been warned. Please leave me feedback! And thanks to those who faithfully leave reviews. Enjoy…_

Still Fighting It

Chapter 8: you can't change this loneliness

So here he was, at his desk, looking at the papers that Summer had just handed him a few hours ago. He wondered how long she had had them. It was so strange how things could change. Just yesterday, he had spent a whole day at the _happiest place on earth _with his family, and now his disposition was quite possibly the shittiest feeling ever. He looked over the list of songs that he was supposed to perform for his family and friends and fans at his homecoming concert. They were pretty much all about Summer. Everything was always about Summer. He wasn't giving up on her even if she wanted him too. He grabbed his keys and his computer and left his record label's building. He didn't want to be late for his date with his wife.

---

Summer was wearing a simple sundress and Seth was wearing a t-shirt, blazer, and jeans, and a baseball cap as some sort of disguise. They looked like the perfect couple to anyone who was looking. Danny had been so happy when they left the house, dressed up, in one car. He had been beaming the whole day. The two looked so casual, like they were on a date. But there was nothing casual about the night at all. Seth felt like throwing up every second of the drive, and he could not look at Summer. She sat, quietly, also feeling sick. It was hard to break up with someone that you loved. They both loved each other, it was just not meant to be.

Let's get drunk, you can drive us to the harbor

Wish upon a star, but do you know what stars are?

Balls of fire burning up the black space

Falling from the landscape

Exploding in the face of God…

The stars shone over them, stitches in a blanket of night. They had decided to eat at a restaurant that was not in Newport. Somewhere quiet, but with enough people to make it more comfortable. The restaurant, Bangkok 4, was in South Coast Plaza, where the mood was usually high and exciting. There was something about this place that made most people happy. Maybe it was the jewelry on display at Tiffany and Cartier, or the glamorous facades at Gucci and Dior. Maybe it was the kids riding on the carousel, or the business people who escaped the daily grind at Borders. He'd been there many times before, but he wasn't too happy this time around. Seth remembered when he and Summer used to hang out there when they were in high school. She would drag him to the lingerie stores, Victoria's Secret and La Perla, and he would protest, but secretly enjoy it at the same time. He remembered when they spent hours and hours at Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn, and Crate & Barrel choosing their wedding registry. Then Pottery Barn kids to choose things for Danny's baby registry. There was no special, joyful occasion this time. Instead of choosing things to build up their life together, they were making steps to tear their life apart. After ordering a third drink, they sat in silence, but Summer had to get this over with.

"Seth, I need those papers signed. Trust me, the faster this goes, the easier it will be."

"The faster it goes? It's been seven years, Summer, I think a few more weeks won't make that much of a difference."

"They might make a difference to Danny."

"Or they might make a difference to Jared."

"Don't bring him into this, Seth."

"Why not, you're so into him, and he's such a big part of this, so why not?"

"Jared cares about me Seth, he wants me to be happy. He wants us to be happy, together. We have a lot of long term plans, Seth."

"So, does Danny know about any of these plans?"

"Not yet, I don't think it's such a good idea that I tell him while I'm still married to you."

"Right. Well, I'm not signing the papers now." She scowled at him, but he ignored it.

"Dammit Seth. Just do it so we can get this over with," her teeth were clenched and she hissed out the words with as much venom as she could muster. Why couldn't he just sign the damn papers? Each day that went by made it harder for her to be around him. Why couldn't he just let her go?

"Get what over with, us? There is no end to us Summer, we have way too much invested in one another. I'm doing a concert in three weeks, after that, I'll be going home. I'll be out of your hair for good except when I come to see _our_ son. Until then, I will not sign the papers." She let out an exasperated sign, but didn't fight it. She knew his stubbornness well, and knew she couldn't win this time. Not when he spoke like that. There were many things Summer got away with, but when Seth spoke in that tone, she had to surrender. Seth ordered another drink. It was the only way he could cope with this. They sat and ate the rest of their meal in silence. Summer fumed silently, her cheeks red. She was seriously on the verge of a rage blackout. She was sexy when she was about to rip his eyes out. But he glared back at her from his side of the table, and slowly, their anger cancelled each other's out.

Let's get crazy, talk about our big plans

Places that you're going

Places that I haven't been

Build my walls up, concrete castle

Keep this kingdom free of hassle

---

Back in Newport, Ryan and Marissa were walking on the pier with Danny and Jenna. Sandy and Kirsten were watching the baby while Danny's aunt and uncle took him out for dinner. Everyone knew what was going down at that very moment in Costa Mesa, and they wanted to make sure that Danny had his fun before he found out that his parents were not going to be together for very much longer. They had just eaten at the Crab Shack and were now strolling in the cool summer breeze, enjoying the sights of a small fair that had been set up on the pier. Marissa shivered, and Ryan took that as a cue to go back to the car and get her coat. Danny ambled along with him, happily watching all of the families on the beach. Soon, his family would be like that again, going to the beach together and having barbecues. He would toss a Frisbee with his Dad, while his mom set up the picnic. His grandparents and Aunt and Uncle would be there too. Everything would be the way it was supposed to be.

Ryan walked back from the car, holding Danny's hand. "Hey, let's get an ice cream from your aunt and cousin, and for us." Danny smiled and anxiously waited with Ryan in line. Ryan looked down at his nephew, he was so happy, jubilant. He didn't know what Seth and Summer were going to do when they told him. Ryan reached the front of the line and ordered Marissa and Jenna's favorite flavors. He looked over at Danny, who was looking at something further down the beach.

"What flavor do you want, Danny?" He watched as Danny's eyes squinted to see something.

"Strawberry."

"And one strawberry please. Thanks," Ryan took the cones and handed one to Danny, who

was standing completely still.

"Hey, what'cha looking at?" Danny took his cone, but let the summer heat melt it. He pointed at two figures that were walking towards them. Ryan looked down the beach and saw him. Jared. With another woman. Looking very friendly with another woman. His heart rate quickened. Maybe they were making a false assumption, maybe the woman was his sister or something. Jared leaned down to kiss the woman.

Ryan was pretty sure that she was not his sister.

Jared took his arm and wrapped it around her, while nuzzling her neck. They were holding hands. Ryan felt nauseous. He covered Danny's eyes and shushed him.

They were getting very close to where Ryan and Danny were standing, so Ryan pushed himself and Danny behind the ice cream stand. Danny looked like he was about to cry, but he didn't know why he felt this way. All he knew was that he saw something that he wasn't supposed to see, since his uncle had reacted the way he did. Ryan's eyes were wide. Jared and friend walked by without seeing them and Ryan let out his breath that he had been holding for sometime. What was he going to do? He had to tell Summer and Seth.

"Danny, hey, look at me. I'm going to take care of this. Don't cry, it's okay. Nothing is your fault." _It's that bastard Jared's fault. _Ryan's phone started ringing, and he answered it. It was his wife, wondering where they were. He chattered on the phone like nothing had happened and led Danny back over to where Marissa was waiting.  
---

"What am I going to do?" Ryan paced around his kitchen while Marissa looked on from a barstool.

"I don't know, Ry. I mean, she needs to know, but with everything going on right now with Seth, she's not going to take it well. Do we really even have proof that he's cheating?"

"Well, I don't know what your definition of cheating is, but he was certainly pulling a Luke and Holly," Marissa cringed at the thought and clenched her fists. What a dick.

"Do you think we should talk to Seth first? Maybe he'll know how to approach the subject with her, and since Danny knows, maybe you and Seth can talk to him and try to explain. It would be better coming from you two. I bet he's really confused right now."

"Hmm, that's not a bad idea, Seth is the brains, he'll have some sort of plan to work this out. At least we can wait until tomorrow though, and we don't have to deal with it tonight."

"What time are they coming over?"

"12, for lunch with us and Luke and Stacy. Jared will be there also."

"Great," Marissa said wryly. She did not want to see her best friend hurt again, but it didn't look too good. Hopefully things would turn out okay, and they would not have to suffer the wrath of the rage blackout.

---

Seth walked through the front door after Summer. He followed her upstairs, and went into his guest room while she went into hers. Well, technically, it was their bedroom, but the details were not important. He lay in bed, wide awake for many hours, as did she. They were only a few feet from one another, yet they were so far away. Seth didn't want to let her go. She didn't want him to let her go either, but at the same time, she needed him to let go so she could move on with her life. Have a new life with another man. She had so many new plans. Plans that didn't involve Seth. All he wanted was for things to go back to normal. The way things were. She couldn't do that. It was for the best.

But I hear sound echo in the emptiness

All around, but you can't change this loneliness

Look at what you've found

I'm falling down

---

Everyone plastered on their fake smiles for the casual lunch at Ryan and Marissa's. Ryan and Marissa and Danny knew of Jared infidelity and thus were trying their best to keep their composure. Ryan was trying hard to not kick the shit out of Jared right then and there. Marissa was also doing the same. After so many years of marriage to Ryan, his violent nature sort of rubbed off on her. She thought she could probably take most of the Newpsies on the PTA. Seth and Summer were going through their divorce drama and thus needed to keep face in front of Danny. And Jared just sat there and cracked jokes like nothing was wrong. Luke and Stacy did not know what exactly what was going on, but something had to be up. Ryan took Seth into his office and closed the door.

"Seth, I have to talk to you."

"Umm, okay, this is kind of freaking me out. You know I have a fear of closed spaces."

"My office is like bigger than the size of my old house in Chino."

"Still, can you like crack a window or something?" Seth smiled, but quickly lost his expression when he saw Ryan's grim face. "Yo, what's the matter?"

"Last night, when we were at the beach, Danny and I saw Jared."

"Oh yeah? What was he doing, being a huge douche bag?" he chuckled to himself.

"No, he was with another girl."

The color drained from Seth's face. "What?"

"He was kissing another woman. I tried to cover Danny's eyes, but he saw it."

"That motherfucker, I'll kill him. Summer doesn't deserve that!"

"Hey, keep your voice down. Only Marissa and Danny know about it. Marissa thought it would be a good idea if you and I talked to Danny first about what happened."

"That little prick, I'll kill him. He's going to hurt her and I'll kill him."

"Stop saying that. Calm down, Seth. I'll go get Danny, and we can talk to him." Ryan left and a little while later came back with Danny who looked extremely sullen.

"Hey, kiddo. I heard about what you saw yesterday. And it wasn't right, and I know you're confused, but we're here to talk to you about it." Danny did not say anything.

"Yeah, Danny. We're going to talk to Jared about what we saw him doing, and we'll see what he has to say, but for now, we're going to act the same way around him. I don't want you to do anything different than what you've done before, we'll clear this up and everything will be better, I promise."

"Is Jared going to go away?" Danny looked, with hopeful eyes at his father and uncle.

"Well, we don't know, but we'll see." Seth tousled Danny's hair and sighed. Everything just got more complicated.

---

"Summer, we need to talk." They were back at home in Summer's bedroom. She turned and looked at him with an expression of annoyance plastered all over her face.

"What is it Seth, I'm kind of busy right now."

"It's about Jared."

"What about him?"

"Well, the other night, when we were having dinner, Danny and Ryan saw him at the beach, with another woman."

She raised her head and looked at him. She shook her head and glared at him.

"Who do you think you are, Seth? You cannot just come back here and try to ruin my life. You've been gone for seven years, just because you aren't happy, doesn't mean I can't be too, or does it? You can't stand to see that I've moved on. What is wrong with you? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Summer, I'm not making this up. They saw him at the beach." His voice softened, but she still could not discern his sincerity.

"God, and how could you bring our son into this? How could you use him to get to me? Get it into you thick skull Seth, I don't love you anymore. I'm with Jared now. You can't just use some ploy to pull me away from him so that I will go running back into your arms. It doesn't work that way. When people love each other, they don't lie to each other."

"I'm not lying, Summer. You can ask Ryan, or better yet ask your son!" Seth was getting frustrated. This was not the way he had envisioned it in his mind. He thought, he could tell Summer, and she'd believe him, running back into his arms. He thought that everything could be okay now. But it was worse than before. Now she thought he was a liar.

"No, no I won't! Because I trust Jared. This is pathetic, Seth. I mean, stoop a little lower why don't you."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he snarled at her, and she was taken aback for a second, but she recovered quickly. No one, no one, could out-sneer Summer Roberts.

"I know exactly what I'm talking about. You're jealous that I am moving on. You want to ruin this relationship so that I will go to you for comfort. But I'm not going to, so give up."

"What are you talking about, Summer. I could get any girl I wanted, I could go out right now and find someone. That's not the problem. The problem is that I love you too much and I don't want you to get hurt by some guy who couldn't possibly care about you as much as I do. No one could ever love you like I love you."

"If you love me, then let me go. I don't feel anything for you anymore Seth." She looked into his eyes. Seth walked up to her, grabbed her and forced his lips on hers. He kissed her with as much passion as he could muster from his emotionally exhausted body. His hands roamed her back and pulled on her hair. He broke the kiss and saw her fiery eyes staring back at him.

"Tell me you don't feel anything for me now." He walked out of the house, slamming the door on the way out.

Danny stood up from his position, crouching at the top of the stairs. He couldn't see anything, but he heard the whole conversation. He had to make his mom believe his dad. Whatever he and Ryan had seen was bad. Both of his parents were angry, he had never heard his Daddy raise his voice. And now Mommy had her face in her hands and she was crying. She never cried. Danny crawled back into his room and got under the covers. He clutched Captain Oats close and fell into a fitful sleep.

Taste the saline, rolling from your cheekbone

Tell me that you're alone

Tell me on the telephone

Feel your heart, it breaks within your chest now

Try to get some rest now

Sleep's not coming easy for awhile, child

Child…

But I hear sound echo in the emptiness

All around, but you can't change this loneliness

Look at what you've found

I'm falling down

Down…

Down by Something Corporate


	9. kissing the lipless

__

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: It's been awhile, I know. I'm sorry I haven't been able to update in so long, I've just been busy wrapping up my summer session for school and taking care of things back home here in Orange County. I also had a bad case of writer's block and had no idea what to write for this chapter, so that contributed to the delay in posting. Anyway, the song that goes with this chapter is Kissing the Lipless by The Shins--one of my favorite songs/bands_. I'm going on vacation for a week, then I have to start the fall semester, so it may be awhile until I can update again. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thanks for all the reviews and encouraging remarks urging me to update, it's really appreciated. I'm also working on some new stories, so keep an eye out for those. Thanks again!_

****

Still Fighting It

Chapter 9: kissing the lipless

You told us of your new life there  
You got someone coming around  
Gluing tinsel to your crown  
He's got you talking pretty loud  
You berate remember your ailing heart and your criminal eyes  
You say you're still in love  
If it's true, what can be done  
It's hard to leave all those moments behind

__

Called to see if you're back  
Was still aligned and your sheets  
Were growing grass all on the corners of your bed  
But you've got too much to wear on your sleeves  
It has too much to do with me  
And secretly I want to bury in the yard  
The gray remains of a friendship scarred  
  
You tested your metal of doe's skin and petals  
While kissing the lipless  
Who bleed all the sweetness away  
--The Shins

Seth had been gone for two weeks already, and Summer had never been more relieved. He was out of sight, but not out of mind. That kiss blew her away. Everything she had been feeling for him had been kept inside her for all these years and with that one kiss, every memory, every hint of desire for him came flooding out. It had been completely unexpected but completely welcome. Wait no, not completely welcome. Summer didn't want this to happen. Just as she was starting over with Jared, Seth had to come waltzing in to distract her. She didn't want that. But that kiss. That kiss was everything she remembered and more. He was still gentle and slow, but aggressive with a hint of nervousness. It was amazing. But she was so conflicted. There was Jared, who had been there when Seth hadn't been. Seth was dragging his name through the mud. And for what, to get her back? That wasn't fair. She didn't think she could sink that low and didn't know how he could even involve their son. Summer hated this situation. She hated that she couldn't forget about him.

The media didn't make it any easier on her to forget either. They constantly played his songs over and over again. If not that then it was music videos, interviews, magazine articles, or recaps of his promotional tour. Seth in Japan. Seth in London. Seth everywhere. He was coming back tomorrow and his homecoming concert was in three days. It was such a big deal. They were already setting up for the show at the beach. She didn't want to go, but Danny begged her, so Jared convinced her that it would be a good thing to go and support her ex-husband. It was a "no hard feelings" gesture.

And after the concert was over, he would sign the papers and they would be done.

---

Danny sat in his room, reading one of his dad's old comic books. He was upset. His father wasn't going to be staying with them, instead staying with Uncle Ryan and Aunt Marissa. His mother hadn't said a word about his dad for weeks. And Jared was around more than ever. Everything had seemed so perfect just a month ago, but now everything was in shambles. And Danny couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't understand why everything was falling apart.

His dad was coming home tomorrow. And this time everything would be different.

Uncle Ryan knocked on his door softly, and peeked his head inside.

"Hey buddy, what are you reading?" Danny held up the familiar Dark Knight cover, which may have been a little mature for him, but he wasn't really reading it anyway. "So, you excited to see your dad tomorrow? I know he's pretty excited to see you."

"And my mom?"

Ryan gave Danny a look. "I'm sure he'd like to see your mom too. Are you ready to go?" Danny silently nodded. He was spending the night at his uncle and aunt's and the going with them to pick up his dad at the airport. It was something that Seth had asked. His mom walked into his room, and sat on his bed. She zipped up his backpack and handed it to Ryan.

"I'll see you tomorrow night, honey. Say hello to your father for me." Her speech was stilted, and both Ryan and Danny could hear it. She was obviously still upset at Seth. She kissed him on the cheek, and followed the two of them out, waiting until they were halfway down the street. She still didn't like being apart from her baby.

"Why do my parents hate each other?"

Ryan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't really like talking much in the first place, and answering questions about Seth and Summer wasn't something he was too comfortable with either. This was quickly turning into the longest 5 minute drive he'd ever taken.

"They don't hate each other. And remember, they love you."

"Did they love each other?"

"Umm, of course. They loved each other very much." Ryan shifted in his seat.

"Did they love each other when they had me?"

"Sure. You were made with lots of love. Umm, I guess. Ew. God, I'm starting to talk like your mom. Great. We're here, thank goodness," Ryan jumped out of the car as quickly as he could.

"Uncle Ryan, what did my mom and dad…" Ryan opened the door and Danny jumped inside the house.

"Hey, Danny there's your Aunt Marissa, and look, she's putting Sarah to bed. Why don't you go help her, I'm sure she'd love to answer your question." He shuffled off to his office quickly before she could protest. Marissa gave him a dirty look, as she followed Danny into the baby's room.

"Aunt Marissa, what did my mom and dad like to do before I was born?"

"Well, I suppose they liked to do the same things that everyone else does, go to movies, go out to dinner and go to concerts. In fact, your mom used to go to all your dad's concerts. He used to do this thing where he would pull her up on stage, and dance around with her, and she'd get so embarrassed, but you could tell she really loved it. And he loved her so much. He used to sing to her all the time. Back then, you could hear the tinkling of the piano at all hours of the night. He really pissed some of their neighbors off. But don't tell you mother I used that word in front of you."

"I've heard worse," he replied coyly. She gave him a look. He was a smart one, just like his father.

"Still, I know she wouldn't appreciate that kind of language. Anyway, yeah, that's what they liked to do."

"What song did my mom like to hear my dad sing?"

"Hmm, you know? I don't really know. She did always like Wonderwall. It reminded her of high school, I think. Danny, I have a question for you now. What's with the 3rd degree here?"

"No reason. I just want to do something to cheer her up."

"Aww, Danny that's really sweet. How about we plan something special for her in a few weeks, I can help you make her dinner and you can make her a card. It'll be great, we can start planning it tonight. I'm sure that'll cheer her up," Marissa ruffled his hair a little and smiled at him. Summer and Seth were lucky to have such a sweet kid.

Danny beamed at his aunt. He already had a plan formulating in his head.

---

Summer picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Hello?" Seth picked up the phone. Ryan and Marissa had already gone to bed, at the ungodly hour of 8:30. Seth was sorry that he didn't experience the exhaustion that came with raising a baby. He was sorry for a lot of things. Danny had also been sleeping for awhile now, and Seth had stayed in his room, watching him. His peaceful slumber was calming his nerves. He didn't hear anything on the other line. "Hello? Is anyone there?" he heard a click on the other line. Seth returned the phone to its cradle and turned off the lights.

Summer didn't know why she hung up. It's not like she didn't think it was impossible that he would pick up the phone. In fact, she was sort of hoping he would. She knew that Danny was probably asleep. She wouldn't have called so late had she not wanted to hear his voice. But she had nothing to say, or more like she could not say a thing. Her throat ran completely dry. She listened to the dial tone ring in her ears and walked into Danny's room. She hated to see the empty room. She could just imagine Danny tucked safely beneath the covers, as Seth read him a story. She hated to admit it, but she missed it. She missed the three of them under one roof. She missed her son and she missed Seth.

---

Seth sat in Ryan's office, looking over the set list again. How was it that every song he wrote was about Summer? It was going to be very difficult to sing those songs knowing that she was in the vicinity. He couldn't stop thinking about her the whole time he was gone. He shouldn't have kissed her because now that was all he could see in his head. Replaying…slow motion…every second. He had wanted to kiss her the minute he saw her, those eyes, that hair, those lips. He wanted to touch every inch of her body. How could he resist? So he had done it. And he didn't regret it. He missed the feeling of her in his arms. But now the bad thing about that was that he couldn't let go. He wanted her even more. He had already been back for three days and yet the only contact he had with her was in passing, when he visited Danny. He certainly wasn't staying with them and anyone with any ounce of perceptiveness could see that there was extreme tension between Seth and his wife.

She was making a mistake. He had to convince her that Jared was cheating on her, but how? They spent every minute together, it was disgusting. In fact, they were on a date right at that moment.

He looked down at his phone as it rang. Luke? What was he doing, calling at this hour?

"Hello?"

"Seth, man you will not believe who just left."

"Left where? Where are you?"

"I'm at Fleming's."

"Oh, great steaks."

"Yeah, yeah, but Summer was here with Jared."

"Yeah, they went out tonight, big whoop."

"Well they were here. Summer ran into Stacy in the bathroom and said that Jared wasn't feeling well, so they were leaving early. So I guess Summer left, but then I see the bastard at the bar with another woman. So, I guess what Ryan and Danny saw was right on. Stacy and I both were staring, but we don't think he saw us…"

"That dick, at least he could have the decency to take them to different places. Okay can you just remember what she looks like? It'll be sort of hard to trace from that. We have to go right to the source this time because it's obvious that Summer won't believe anyone anymore."

"Dude, you didn't let me finish. They just left, but he walked her to her car, and it's a fucking brand new SC430."

"And that matters because…"

"Well, it matters because the dealership tag was still in the license plate holder. And guess who's dealership the car came from."

"Holy shit, you have to be kidding me."

"Yep, Ward Lexus of Newport Beach. It'll be easy for me to find out who bought the car. Stace and I have been thinking of a brilliant plan for how all this will go down, but my battery's dying, so I'm gonna have to tell you later. We should all have lunch, you, me, Stacy, Ryan and Marissa. We can talk about all of this then. I gotta go, though. Bye."

Seth flipped his phone shut and looked at Ryan, who was staring at him.

"We may have just hit the jackpot."


	10. I get turned around

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

Author's Note: It's been awhile, but I've had a hard time writing this. I really have no idea where I'm going with it. I think there's only a few more chapters left in this story--hopefully I'll get it done by the time the show starts up again. I have some other little short random stories that I've been toying around with, but I've been really busy with school starting up again. The song that goes along with this chapter is She's got a way by Billy _Joel--a classic. Hope you enjoy this chapter--I'll try to get the next one up soon._

Still Fighting It

Chapter 10: I get turned around

She comes to me when I'm feelin' down  
Inspires me without a sound  
She touches me and I get turned around  
  
She's got a smile that heals me  
I don't know why it is  
But I have to laugh when she reveals me  
  
She's got a way about her  
I don't know what it is  
But I know that I can't live without her  
Anyway…

--Billy Joel

He was nervous as he put his clothes on. Just a simple button down shirt and jeans. Nothing too fancy. He was casual, cool Seth Cohen, the musician. The butterflies in his stomach were fluttering out a distinct pattern in his abdomen. He was going to expose the cheating bastard, but more importantly, he was playing a show for his family. This was Danny's first time seeing what Seth did for a living up close. His parents would be there looking on along with his friends. It was a big night.

Sweat poured from his temples, he was almost halfway through the concert and it was a success. He loved the way all of his fans sang along with him, a sea of people having a good time. It wasn't like his other concerts, where people would be screaming and throwing things at him, but this was different and beautiful and he didn't even really know how to explain it. Although there was a table and chair set up and most of the crowd were Newpsies who went to yogalates with his mom, for this one night, everyone was shedding that serious, Newport Beach I'm-too-cool-to-like-anything attitude and they were standing and cheering, swaying along with the music. The energy was fantastic. He wanted to make this the best concert ever. He looked over at Jimmy, who sat with the guitar and smiled out at the crowd.

"So, NEWPORT, how are we doing tonight?" the crowd roared back. "Good to hear, well it's been a long time, but it's really great to be back." The audience cheered and Seth laughed. "That's what I like to hear. It's nice to see that you all still know how to rock here. Okay, well this next song is off my latest record, the one that just came out two weeks ago. Has anyone had a chance to pick it up yet?" Once more, everyone screamed, and he smiled. He made eye contact with his son and Summer who were sitting at a table close to the stage, right in the center of his view. Danny was smiling so brightly from Sandy's lap, Seth couldn't help but grin in reply.

Summer rolled her eyes at him and smiled. She was having a good time regardless of what was going on between him and her. He always knew how to put on a good show. He was a born entertainer. Jared kept checking his watch, which annoyed Seth to no end, but it didn't matter because for Jared, the time would come very soon. Seth hopped off the stage and went into the audience, with his bodyguards watching his every move. The camera crew followed his every move. He scanned the crowd for Luke and Stacy who were sitting at the same table as Amanda, the other girlfriend. "Well, thanks to everyone who got it, thank you so much. Without you I would definitely not be standing before you right now. I am so grateful for everything you've done for me and the band. Thank you. So this next song is a love song, and I wrote it for someone really special to me, so I want to share the love. Hopefully, we can dedicate this song to a special person too. How about you?" He stopped at a few tables over and held the microphone up to the woman, who jumped up and down, hugging and kissing him. "Okay, how about you? What's your name?" He held the microphone out to Amanda, who looked at him, shocked.

The plan had been set into action. They had found her address and sent her a ticket, along with a note that read, "Surprise, come to the concert tonight. Don't worry, I'll find you there. Love, Jared." And in case she tried calling him, Seth had somehow procured Jared's cell phone and turned it off. They could never be too careful. He hoped this would work. They all did. It had to.

"Amanda." She smiled in awe, if she hadn't been a fan before, she sure was one now. He always knew how to charm a woman.

"Is this your boyfriend?" Seth pointed the microphone at Luke, even though he knew very well where her boyfriend was. Amanda blushed, really, how often is it that a rockstar comes up to you and talks to you? Summer craned her neck to see what was going on, but the disadvantage of being short was that she could never see anything. Jared just sat there, looking bored. He counted the minutes until the concert was over. He couldn't think of anything he wanted to do less than be at Summer's husband's concert. He took her hand and gently rubbed it. Summer smiled at him. She tossed her hair, making contact with the necklace that Danny and Seth had given her. An overwhelming wave of sadness washed over her as she closed her eyes.

Amanda shook her head no. "He was supposed to meet me here. I got a ticket at my office today saying that he would find me tonight. So I don't know where he is."

"Oh, well that's too bad. Well, maybe I can help you out, so you can find your boyfriend, then I can perform this special song for the both of you," Seth looked at Ryan and Luke and smiled. "What's your boyfriend's name?"

"Jared Thompson." Summer couldn't hear the muffled sound through the various cooing and outbursts of affection from some of the other fans.

"Well, JARED THOMPSON, where are you? Your girlfriend is looking for you! JARED are you here? Your GIRLFRIEND Amanda is looking for you." The color drained from Jared's face. Summer looked at him quizzically. "Hmm, no Jared in the house tonight?"

"He's over here!" an anonymous voice that sounded strangely like Marissa's penetrated the air.

"Well, Amanda, looks like we found him, let's go up and get your man." Seth took Amanda by the hand and led her towards the front. She smiled as soon as she saw Jared, but quickly frowned when she realized that he was holding Summer's hand. He dropped her hand as quickly as he could. Seth got back on stage, as Summer shoved him away from her and stood up.

"How could you? They told me this was going on and I trusted you. I believed you over Seth and Ryan and Danny. I thought they were lying to me and all along you were. I can't believe this!" she slapped him across the face hard as the crowd erupted into hushed whispers. No one was sure if this was for real, or just a part of the show. It wasn't very un-Newport to have something like this erupt during one of their big events. The only thing missing was someone being punched in the face or pushed into a pool. The camera men swooped in, catching all of this on tape. Amanda walked up to the two and slapped him across the face too. She grabbed a drink off the table and poured it all over him.

"Amanda, wait!" She ran out of the venue, and Jared was left there standing and humiliated. He stomped off in a different direction. Summer sat back down and covered her face, this was maybe the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to her--save the strangely reminiscent incident 7 years ago. Marissa rushed over, but Summer picked up her head and held it high. She didn't cry. She couldn't, not again. From the stage, Seth and Jimmy signaled the camera crew to stop filming the soap opera that had unfolded. He sat down at the piano and started to sing slowly. He wanted nothing more than to comfort Summer. He wanted to hold her in his arms and whisper to her that he loved her. Life was too short. He was going to get her back.

He looked at his parents who were holding hands and smiling at him. Ryan held Marissa's hand and patted Danny on the back. This was Seth's home. His family was here, he needed to be here. He wouldn't leave them again.

He looked at her, sitting there, being strong. She wiped at her eyes, smearing her makeup off, but it didn't really matter to Seth. He loved her no matter what. He loved her for who she was, not what she looked like. He loved Summer Roberts for the essence of who she was. A caring mother, an ambitious and aggressive girl who won his heart. He could just imagine leaning down and kissing her. The flashbulbs would go off all around them, illuminating them in a glow that would set them on fire.

He wanted to jump off the stage to go and grab her and kiss her. He just stared at her, intently, trying to send the message telepathically. He knew she got it--after so many years of being together and knowing each other too well, he knew she knew. Summer could read his mind better than anyone else. She started to cry and broke the eye contact. He didn't know what that meant, but he did deep down. He didn't want to know what it meant. So he took that at his cue to get back into focus and sing as if nothing had happened. But something had. Something that he didn't really get. Everything was different this time, and he was confused and he didn't know what anything meant anymore. Jared was out of the picture, but he wasn't sure if that had really changed anything in their relationship. He looked back at her as she picked Danny up and put him in her lap. She didn't know what to do. There was no Jared, but that didn't mean she was just going to jump back into Seth's arms. Seven years was a really long time. He couldn't expect that she would just forget that ever happened. She put her chin on the top of Danny's head and sighed. She had a lot to think about, and by the end of the night, she had figure out what she had to say to Seth--without hurting him too much.


	11. the luckiest

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Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Here's the next chapter, there's only one left after this one. It's been a really long run, but hopefully I'll get it out by the time The OC _premieres. I have some stories that I've been playing around in my head, but I don't know if I'll be able to get them down because I've been so busy with school lately. I hope you enjoy this chapter, one of my favorite Ben Folds (sticking with the theme of the story) songs is in it. And the song that goes with this chapter is _Dare You to Move by Switchfoot _Please keep reviewing, and thanks to those who have been faithfully reviewing from the beginning._

Still Fighting It

Chapter 11: the luckiest

__

Welcome to the fallout

Welcome to resistance

The tension is here, the tension is here

Between who you are, and who you could be

Between how it is, and how it should be

Dare you to move

--Switchfoot

"That was awesome Seth, we couldn't have asked for a better performance. That was tight! Now go out there and do your encore!" Marc was practically jumping up and down, he was giddy. Seth could already see the dollar signs bouncing around in his eyes.

"Well, Newport, I hate to say this but this is going to be the last song I do tonight. It was great having you all here, and I hope to be back here really soon on tour. Thank you all so much for making this night so special for me and Jimmy. This was really special for me to come back home and perform in front of such a wonderful crowd. I think you all know this next song, so sing along with me. Thanks again." He sat on the piano bench and paused to look out at his family before starting to play. This whole trip back to Newport had been a complete whirlwind, but it had really allowed him to grow and understand everything in his life a little more.

I don't get many things right the first time

In fact, I am told that a lot

Now I know all the wrong turns

And stumbles and falls brought me here

Where was I before the day

That I first saw your lovely face?

Now I see it, everyday

And I know that I am…I am…

I am the luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you

In a house, on the street where you live?

Maybe I'd be outside while you passed on your bike

Would I know?

And then oh, I'd see your eyes

I'd see one pair that I'd recognize

And I know that I am…I am…

I am the luckiest

His eyes locked with Summer's as he sang the chorus to her. He wrote her this song. He wanted another chance. Just one more. Hopefully she could put their past where it belong, back there and just forgive him.

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you…

Next door, there's an old man

Who lived to his nineties and one day

Passed away, in his sleep

And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days

And passed away

I'm sorry I know that's a strange way

To tell you that I know we belong

That I know…that I am…I am

I am the luckiest

"Goodbye and good night everyone, have a safe trip home tonight. Thank you!"

---

Seth sat backstage, signing autographs and taking pictures with fans. It was a few hours after the concert, but he was still high off the night. It couldn't have turned out better.

"Alright, everyone, Mr. Cohen has to get going, but thank you all for coming." The crowd groaned but slowly dispersed. They disappeared until only one person was left standing in front of him.

"Summer."

"Seth." Cue awkward silence. You want to go for a walk?" He shrugged and followed her out to the beach. She shivered, so he took off his blazer and wrapped it around her. He loved how all of his clothes hung off her petite body. She looked so small. She stopped and he stopped behind her. She just stared for a moment. She didn't say anything.

"So…did you have a good time?" Silences always made him uncomfortable and he always had to take it upon himself to end them.

"Before or after I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me?"

"I'm sorry." He touched her cheek, but she turned away abruptly. This wasn't going exactly as he envisioned it.

"No you're not. You set me up for this. Why didn't you just get a big 'ole sign that says, 'This is Summer, she is stupid and can't see that she's being cheated on.' That might have gotten the message out more clearly."

"Look, I'm sorry it had to go down like that, but it was the only want to make you see it. You wouldn't believe us, and I guess I kind of wanted to get back at Jared."

"At my expense. Now everyone in Newport has new fodder about my personal life. Look at Summer, she can't keep a man at all--they already knew that, but now they've actually got real live proof."

"Well what do you want me to do, Summer? I'm sorry that I embarrassed you, but it made you see Jared for the slime bag he is. I would be lying if I said that I felt completely remorseful for doing what I did! I don't really actually regret it because now he's gone."

"And what? What do you want me to do? Just go running back into your arms like nothing happened? Oh, I'm the poor defenseless princess who has to be saved by the big, macho demigod who thinks he knows how to handle everything. Even if I didn't find out tonight, I would have found out some other time, and I would have taken care of matters myself. Because, I, can take care of myself. I don't need a protector. And I can take care of my son too--I've been doing it alone for seven years." She knew that was a backhanded comment, but she was totally riled up.

"That's not fair."

"You know what's not fair? Having that little boy look you in the eyes and ask if Daddy's ever coming back and not knowing the answer to that question. That's not fair." She was on a roll and was not about to stop for any pedestrians along the way.

"May I remind you, that you kicked me out Summer." His cheeks were flushed and his forehead was starting to dampen. The old Seth would have backed away from pre-rage blackout Summer, but the new Seth flashed her a look that said, "Bring it on."

"But you never came back. And now that you are here, you think everything can be the same again."

"Why can't they?"

"You can't change what's happened in the past, Seth. You and I both know that it was a long time ago, but since you've been here, you haven't really shown me that you care at all. If you cared about me, you wouldn't have pulled that immature little stunt out there tonight. You're not playing for bragging rights, Seth. You're playing with real emotions and people get hurt. It's one thing to look like a hero to the strangers who don't know anything about us, but you know me better than that."

"You're right, I do know you better than that. And I know you would've done the exact same thing. But whatever, you're the better person, you've always been the better person with the superior judgment. And I know that deep down inside you really want to forgive me and maybe have some semblance of a familial relationship again. I know you do. And I know that you still love me, like I still love you. And I know you want to kiss me right now."

She turned to face him and her eyes flashed in anger at him. But he was used to that. It was a famous Summer reflex that would chase off others, but he couldn't be chased off. He knew her. He ran his hands up and down the length of her arms to warm her. He moved in closer to her and kissed her. Several moments later, she broke their kiss. And he heard her hand smack against his face before he felt the sting.

She turned and started walking briskly.

"What the hell was that for? Summer don't walk away from me. This is real,

Summer," he grabbed her and turned her around, "We are real."

"Seth, you are an asshole."

"Ohhh, good comeback."

"Stop being a smartass. Not everything in life is a joke waiting to happen, you know. Look, I have to go home and put our son to bed."

"I don't know why you just can't admit it. We could be happy together, Sum. You know we could. You know we could work it out this time. I'm not the stupid 25 year old I once was anymore. You can't hold out forever."

"Watch me." She pulled away from his grasp, just to be grabbed again.

"I'm not going to let you go again, Summer. I love you. You know I love you--you've known ever since we were in high school. I love you and Danny more than anything and I wouldn't hurt you again. I've made lots of mistakes in my past that I wish I could take back, but I can't. I wish I were perfect and kept every single promise and did everything perfectly, but I'm not. No one is. But you have to know that I would try for you. I just need you to trust me and believe me." She turned back towards him and he could see the effect of his mini-speech. Her eyes were glazed over with tears. Her nose was bright red, he had forgotten that characteristic. Her nose always got really red right before she was going to cry.

"And, how do I know it's not going to happen again? My whole life, I've been abandoned. And look at me, again, some guy has cheated on me and left me behind once more. I don't think I can deal with this again. I mean, what's wrong with me? How can I expect this not to happen--guys get bored of me, they always do. But what do I do, I go back out there and find the ones that hurt me most."

"Summer, stop. Listen, that's not true. You know it isn't, stop blaming yourself for everything. I couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to be with a beautiful, intelligent, caring person like yourself. But, they can't be with you because I want to be the one who is there for you. I want to be with you."

"This is scaring me Seth. We can't just go back to the way things were seven years ago. A lot has changed. I've changed and so have you. We can't be the same."

"Summer, even if we've both changed, that doesn't mean that we love each other any less. I know you're afraid of being hurt again. But you know me too, Sum. You know me. I won't hurt you. I'm sorry about tonight. I fucked up, I should've come to you and talked. I just wanted you to see so badly. I can be better this time. I promise."

"You said that before, but look where that's gotten us."

"You have to trust me. Our relationship needs to be built on trust. I need you to trust me. I love you. I always have loved you. I love you and I love our son. I want to be with you."

She looked at him earnestly, with tears in her eyes. "Seth, I'm not ready for this again. I just can't." She took off across the sand, and this time he didn't even try to stop her. The ocean's waves broke harshly behind him, but to anyone who was near, they could have been mistaken for the sound of his heart crashing apart.

---

He watched as all the guests congregated in his parents' backyard. This was a throw back to the old days, lavish parties at his house, while he watched, an outsider to everything. Even though he was rich and famous, he was still on the outside of everything, even his own going away party. Perfect couples danced on the makeshift dance floor. Newpsies sipped from their thousand dollar champagne flutes. He spotted his grandfather making a deal in the corner, while Julie looked on, beaming. She was proud of her husband. He saw his songwriting partner, chatting away with one of his father's colleagues. His wife was at his side, supporting everything he did. He saw Ryan twirling Marissa around on the dance floor. Holding her, being there for her. He saw Luke feeding Stacy one of those disgusting mushroom-feta-leek stuffed crapcakes that his mother insisted ordering for every party. Their happiness was evident. Their laughter contagious. Seth spied his own parents sharing a kiss near the bar. Thirty-some years of marriage, and they were still more in love than anyone else he knew. He wanted what everyone had. He wanted Summer to love him, support him, be there for him. He wanted to do that for her. He saw her sitting, by herself near the poolhouse, her hands resting on a table, propping up her chin, looking off into space. If he had a camera, he would have taken a thousand pictures to remember what she looked like at that moment. He loved her so much.

She looked over and caught his eye. He looked away quickly. Her stare burned him, just like those words had. He was going back to New York for a little while. He had to start a tour, and maybe try to forget about her for awhile. He walked into his house, and upstairs to his room. Danny was sleeping soundly on his bed. He didn't want to leave his son again. He'd be back this time, he needed to be there for Danny. He rubbed his hair gently and kissed his cheek before walking over to his desk. He looked at the papers that sat there, and with the quick flourish of his pen, the papers were signed. She was now free.

The Luckiest by Ben Folds


	12. just try to make it work

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada.

Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: Here it is, the last chapter. It's been a really long ride, but now it's over. I promised I would get it out before the premiere, and I made it, by one day. I know it's like totally cheesy, but it's the only ending I could come up with. I've been really busy lately, and haven't had much time to write, but I hope you enjoy anyway. The song that goes with this chapter is The Cure's Close to Me, o_ne of my favorite songs ever. I have a lot of ideas for new stories, but I'm going to have to put them on hold for awhile, since I have a lot of tests coming up in the coming weeks. Thanks for leaving comments and reading, I really appreciate it. Happy The OC watching tomorrow night!_

_I re-uploaded it, because I received an email from a reader that said the chapter wasn't up, so I think fan fiction . net has a glitch or something today, but maybe this will work now...___

Still Fighting It

Chapter 12: Just try to make it work…

I've waited hours for this

I've made myself so sick

I wish I stayed…asleep today

I never thought this day would end

I never thought tonight could ever be

This close to me

But if I had your faith,

Then I could make it safe and clean

If only I was sure,

That my head on the door was a dream…

-- The Cure

Summer walked into her bedroom while Seth packed up the last of his things. He was leaving tomorrow. She didn't know how to tell him that she wanted him to stay. And she did want him to stay even if she was still mad at him for the concert debacle. But she might have already ruined her chance. It was still early, but she lay down, just to rest. Tomorrow would be a long day. The first of many without him.

He crept into her bedroom, praying that she was asleep. She was. He tucked her in, and touched her hair for the last time. He set the papers down on the pillow next to her, knowing that by the time she found them, he'd be gone.

---

She woke up a few hours later, at 2:36 AM, her throat dry. She turned over and came face to face with the papers she have given Seth. His name scribbled next to the x. This was it. It was what she had wanted all along. She folded up the papers and set them on the nightstand. She would deal with this tomorrow. She slipped into Danny's room and checked on him. Sleeping, looking like an angel. He had been tossing and turning again though. His sheets were kicked about and perspiration wetted his curls. He was no doubt worrying about his father's departure tomorrow. She hated to see him this way. His computer play list was still on, but she didn't turn it off. The soft music soothed her nerves, and was probably doing the same for her son.

Softly, she padded down the stairs, to get herself a glass of water. She was tired, but couldn't really feel anything. She quietly got the water, and gulped it down. She finished her glass and got another.

"Thirsty much?" She turned around to see Seth sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of milk in hand.

"Not really," she set the glass down, feeling very uncomfortable with his eyes boring through her body. "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep, I guess. You know how I get before flights." She silently nodded.

"Seth--" she opened her mouth to speak…

"Summer--," he shook his head, "Sorry, you go first."

"No, you."

"Thank you."

"For what?" she looked at him. She wanted to know what he was feeling. Deep down inside, she was hoping that they could be a family even if she couldn't admit it to him.

"For inviting me back and letting me into Danny's life. I'm sorry I wasn't there for so long, I just…I didn't know if you wanted me here, or if he hated me or what."

"He couldn't hate you. I would never let that happen, you know that. It was all circumstance, he knows that. And I should be thanking you for coming here. I mean, he's so much happier now. I'm sorry for keeping you two away for so long." She walked over to the table and sat down next to him. She suddenly felt very adult-like.

"It wasn't your fault. I could've come back at anytime, but I was a chicken, and I was afraid."

"I'm sorry for making you afraid," she took his hand, but he pulled it away. Her heart ached.

"I put the papers on the bed."

"I know," she whispered, her eyes locked on the table. She didn't want him to see her wet eyes. He abruptly got up from the table.

"I gotta get to sleep, early flight tomorrow," he said, with false confidence. He wasn't sure how the sentence came out so steady when the large lump in his throat was threatening to make his voice crumble into a thousand pieces. He didn't turn around to look at her. He couldn't let her see him cry.

"Yeah, me too. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow." She wanted to get into her bedroom as quickly as possible before the tears started erupting right then and there. She wanted to scream after him _Please don't go! Don't leave me! _at each step he took, only feet in front of her.

"Well, goodnight."

"Nite."

When they got to the top of the stairs, both parents froze. That song. Out of the small crack of the door, Ryan Adams' voice caught their ears and they both had to stop. The first night they made love, really, actually made love came flooding back to them both. What were they doing? They weren't in high school anymore. They were adults, with responsibilities and needs. Were they really going to let pride stand in the way of a stable and complete future? Seth couldn't let that happen. He had made a mistake once, but now he was going to make things right. He turned around and saw Summer's puffy eyes. He hated himself for making her feel that way.

"Cohen, is it too late for me to ask you to stay?" he barely heard her. She barely heard herself. She opened her mouth to speak again, but he held a finger up to her lips to silence her. He held out his hand, like he had done so many years ago. She took it, and felt the warmth emanating from his body. He pulled her close, and they sway together in the hallway to the music. He towered over her, but somehow they fit. He squeezed her tightly. He didn't ever want to let go. He was afraid he was going to wake up from this dream and everything would be as it was when he fell asleep. The song restarted over again, and she looked up at him with a tear streaked face.

"I've missed you so much." She put her face back into his shoulder, but he lifted her chin up. He softly kissed her and it was better than before. They both meant it. Quickly, the kiss deepened, and his hands started roaming her body. It had been too long since they were last together. She started to unbutton his shirt and kiss his chest. She wanted this so badly. He held her close, but connected with her lips again, picking her small frame up. He kissed her neck, and down the low neckline of her camisole. She still wore those flimsy things that he loved so much. She sucked in a breath. She hadn't felt like this in a while. He let his hands travel on her skin and she couldn't take it. She whispered into his neck, "I want you so much, Seth." Her hot breaths on his skin drove him crazy, and he needed the pressure of her lips on his once more. After what was forever, she broke the kiss abruptly in horror.

"OMG, ew," she whispered.

He had to catch his breath before asking, "What?" She nodded her head in the direction of their son's room, where he was sleeping only a few feet away.

Seth cursed to himself. They were one of those couples--like his own parents were, PDA-ing all over the place. He carried her into the bedroom and shut the door, locking it with his free hand, and supporting her with his other. He lay her on the bed, and she pulled him on top of her, taking off his and her clothing as fast as humanly possible. They had both wanted this for so long, they just didn't know how much.

It wasn't some coincidence that Danny had Wonderwall looped at the end of his play list. Danny had done his research. And it paid off because everything was going to work out the way he wanted. He had hatched his own plan to get them together, and he wanted it to work so badly.

Seth held Summer's hands and kissed them. He kissed every inch of her, he made sure. She clutched the back of his head, running her hands through his sweaty curls. He rested his head on her chest, and exhaled. He let his breath raggedly rest on her neck. She hugged him closer to her and shifted the sheets over their bodies. She felt unbelievably euphoric. Everything was perfect.

"I love you, Summer." He dreamily looked up at her, and kissed her lips again.

"I love you, too, Seth." He wrapped his arms around her body and shut his eyes. She watched him as he fell asleep, remembering how good it was to be like this. To be with him. To be in love with him.

His eyes fluttered open, and he smiled when he saw her looking back at him. "Summer?"

"Yeah, Cohen?"

"I want you to be my wife."

"I am your wife." She grabbed the divorce papers off the nightstand and ripped them in half. "See?"

"Yeah, technically we're already husband and wife, but I want to start over. We didn't get a real wedding last time, and you deserve one."

"I don't care if we didn't have a real wedding. All that matters is that we're together again."

"Please, I want to do this right this time. So, Summer Roberts, will you marry me, again?"

"Yes, I will." He kissed her and pulled the sheets over their heads.

---

He opened his eyes slowly, and let them adjust to the shining light. He looked out at the crowd, at his family and friends. He looked at his beautiful wife. He saw his parents, smiling after so many years of marriage. This was how it was always meant to be. He ran his hand through his sweaty curls, and wiped it on his already soaked shirt. He grabbed his guitar and sat down in the middle of the stage with the lights turned down low. The single spotlight was on him.

"This next song is very, very special to me and I would like to dedicate it to all of you who have come out to support me tonight. I know it's been awhile, but thank you for welcoming me back with such open arms." He started to play the chords, but stopped abruptly. He retuned his guitar and started up again.

He shook his head and stopped.

"You know, this song just isn't right with the guitar. I don't think I would really be doing the man who wrote it justice unless it was played on the piano as it was originally meant to be played." There were hushed whispers creeping through the crowd; no one knew what was going on. "Luckily, the man who wrote it is with us tonight. Dad? Would you mind coming up here and singing it with me?"

The spotlight panned over the crowd until the beam rested on Seth Cohen. He covered his face as he laughed, but Summer urged him to get up, pushing him out of his seat. The crowd exploded in applause as Seth walked up to the side of the stage, reemerging on the stage a few moments later. The two men hugged and it was like seeing two versions, one young and one old of the same man.

"Thanks, Dad. Ladies and gentlemen, in his first performance in almost a decade…"

"Hey, it hasn't been that long--but thanks for taking me out of my retirement…"

"My father, Mr. Seth Cohen. Hopefully, he still remembers how to play this song," Danny teased.

"Very funny. You're grounded," Seth deadpanned while the audience erupted in laughter.

"Aww, Dad," he whined, eliciting chuckles from the audience.

"It's an honor to be up here with my son, playing this song that I wrote for my family. It means a lot to me personally, and I would like to dedicate it to my wife, Summer who has stood by me through everything. I would also like to dedicate it to this wise-guy standing next to me on stage right now and his brother who's in the audience. I love you all very much."

Danny wiped an imaginary tear from his eye, while Seth rolled his eyes at him. "All kidding aside, I love you too, Dad. Anyway, thanks for coming out tonight, Newport, the guys and I really appreciate it and hope that we can be back out here soon. This song is called _The Luckiest_, and I would like to dedicate it to my friends and family because I really do feel like I'm the luckiest person in the world."

Where was I before the day

That I first saw your lovely face?

Now I see it, everyday

And I know that I am…I am…

I am the luckiest

Danny looked at his wife, who patted her very pregnant abdomen lovingly. They had just found out yesterday that it was going to be a boy. A boy! He still couldn't believe that he was going to be a father. He looked over at his own dad and then to his mother in the audience and just hoped that he could be as good of a parent to his son as his were to him.

Seth met Summer's eyes as he played the chords that had imprinted themselves in his heart. This was their life that they had forged together. And now their kids had families and soon they were even going to be grandparents. Life had had it's ups and downs, but everything eventually turned out all right.

The Luckiest by Ben Folds

The End


End file.
